CHAPTER VI
Arms raised, salt on the ground, stillness…
Haldora looked around to find Anna with her arms raised high to the sky, her expression of tiredness and cool. She dropped her arms to her side and took Haldora by the hand. They took a fast pace back to the hut, Haldora was still amazed as to how Hella disappeared. She was still at odds with what happened. Suddenly pain, unbearable, excruciating pain. Haldora fell to the ground twisting and squirming and yelling. She could feel her bosom parting in two and could feel her own blood flowing out of her body. Her hands took to her scar and were covered in redness. Her breaths were hard to take. Anna observed the air instead of her friend, there was a strange fog around. The smell of mould still lingered. Anna raised her hands again and uttered some strange words and as suddenly as the pain appeared it disappeared. Haldora lay on the ground gasping for air. Anna bent down above her and tried to calm her down. Haldora took her hand to her dress and felt nothing but dryness. Anna helped her up and took her back to the hut. The animal skins were soon around her and Haldora fell in a deep sleep caused by the tiredness. Anna sat down eating her dinner and wondering about this woman and the weirdness surrounding her.
The Sun had not yet showed his face already Haldora worked at her spindle. She tried to work her worries away, her future was uncertain and her present confusing. Anna awoke, Haldora quickly started to prepare a meal for her hostess. Anna stretched still lying on the ground and observed her friend.
- Have you eaten? – Anna asked.
- I’m not hungry.
- You never seem to be hungry. You’ve only had one meal since you’ve been here. – Anna alerted.
- I already ate, that’s why I am not hungry. – Haldora corrected.
- Oh, I see.
Haldora gave her a bowl with oatmeal. Anna began to eat it as soon as she sat down.
- I guess you are still a bit ill, you should have not gone out, you are still very weak. – Anna explained.
- You’re right. I thought I was better.
- Your chest couldn’t take the moist of the air. You must be more careful.
Haldora seized this opportunity to commit to staying indoors. As she thought it would be safer for her. She went back to her spindle and Anna kept on eating.
- I should take you to do my visits. I think you could use the exercise, to open your chest.
Haldora shook at her suggestion.
- I thought I would stay in for a while, before I’d leave. I don’t want to get worse.
- The sun will do you good. And besides, I can introduce you so you can start working. Get your life together.
Haldora could not argue with her hostess and so prepared to leave at her request. She was worried that the sun would hurt her eyes just as much as of Hella appearing again. Time and time again she looked out the door to the woods with some fear. Anna seemed serene yet aware of Haldora’s behavior.
The two women left the hut carrying baskets on their backs and walked through the woods to the population. During the long walk Haldora always walked a few steps in front of Anna and she seemed tireless, her basket was quite full and still she walked as if it were empty. Anna was forced to nearly run to keep up with her friend. But Anna was right, the walk and the sun, though hard on her eyes, did do Haldora good, she enjoyed seeing new people who were not lost in their own emptiness. She was still haunted by voices she could not place. During the many visits, where she was introduced to the occupants of the houses as a good seamstress, she spent most of her time looking around her to place what she could hear but could not see. The people in the village were friendly and all seemed to accept her as their own. Many women said they would go to see her soon, for new clothes. Haldora was feeling useful again, but she could not understand what it was that Anna did. She went from house to house and sold her bottles and sachets, on the way she took many plants and stored them in her basket. All Haldora understood was that Anna was loved by many and detested by others. The later ones looked upon her with disgust and others looked away in fear. Anna seemed oblivious to all of this.
The last house they would visit was farther from the village, the walk was still long and the sun was setting, making it easier for Haldora to see. She still was not tired and now carried both baskets, for Anna was exhausted. They came to a house and Anna clapped her hands. Almost instantly an old man came out. He looked severe and rude. He looked at Haldora with an inquisitive expression, and then smiled at Anna. She stretched her hands to him and he took them. Haldora’s eyes would not stop moving because of the constant noise around her. It seemed to have gotten more intense as they had drawn near the house. The old man noticed this behavior and with a glance at Anna obtained confirmation.
- She can hear them.
Haldora froze in fear. The man smiled at her and with a gesture invited them in. The two women walked in. At the centre of the house was a table, at which they sat, after setting their baskets down. The old man closed the heavy wooden door and stood in front of the table. At the end of the table their stood a caldron over a fire. He stood in front of it, closed his eyes and the fire under the caldron grew. He raised his hands up and seemed the command the smoke coming from the liquid in the caldron. The smoke flew up and seemed to draw up in the air shapes and forms. Soon Haldora was amazed to see her own story appearing in the mist. Her death, her afterlife and her new life were all there. She looked at Anna, she too could see it. Haldora rose from her chair and stood back glued to the wall in fear.
- Are you Gods??
- No, we are not Gods. – The old man assured as he brought the mist down with his arms. - We possess knowledge.
Haldora’s breaths grow faster. She panted.
- Hal, don’t be afraid. – Anna comforted her. – We won’t hurt you. We are trying to help you.
- There was a time… - The old man began to explain, as she drew near her. – Before time was time when men and gods were the same. Knowledge was shared. – He took her hand and led her back to her seat. – Men and their flaws made us loose this relationship. – He sat down next to her. – Some of us mortals still possess this knowledge. We can see and hear things most people cannot. We can control things most mortals could not. But we are not gods.
- You can hear them, can’t you? – Anna inquired.
Haldora nodded her head.
- The voices you hear are spirits that for some reason or another have not crossed to their world. They come to you because you can hear them.
- They come to you because partly you are like them.
- Like them? – Haldora asked.
- Yes. – The man answered. – When came to this world, you were already a spirit. Your soul was rotting in the Underworld, paying the price for your sin. A sin you committed long ago in your own time. Eras ago. You died on that field with that man. You died many, many years ago. This time is not your time. You have a body, but in essence you are only a spirit, a very old spirit. Your body is empty.
- You don’t eat. You don’t drink. You don’t get tired. You don’t feel much pain, expect for the pain your god inflicted in you. – Anna pointed out.
- I’m dead…
- Yes. Your strength is remarkable. You crossed. Half spirited and all, you crossed to this world. You are not supposed to be here.
Haldora propped her head between her hands and began to cry.
- My world is dead. My world is death. – She cried.
The old man looked at Anna in sadness, she in her turn padded Haldora’s head.
- She’ll come for me. She’ll take me and she’ll haunt me forever. I can’t go back. – Haldora cried.
The voices that bothered her were growing more and more intense. They seemed now as a swarm of bees in her head, all with individual voices and many things to say. She grew more and more impatient. She set her hands on the table and in a flash jumped up from her chair.
- SHUT UP! – She screamed and almost immediately the clay pots and glass bottles broke.
The voices were silenced and the noise heard was Haldora’s heavy breaths.
-My child, you need to learn patience. – The old man cleared. – I will teach you this.
- Teach? – She asked.
- You have more knowledge than you know. If someone does not teach you, you will grow insane. I will teach you to block the voices, to centre your strength. I will teach you to deflect the spirits and the gods.
Haldora sat back down, still with tears running down her cheeks.
- Thank you. I just get her away from me.
- I will and soon so will you. Tomorrow you and I will take a trip and we will go to a forgotten place, there you will learn. From there you will leave as a new person… to live … forever.
The old man looked at Anna and she was in accordance. Haldora felt safer than she ever had.
Anna and Haldora went back home to prepare for the trip. As they walked night crept up behind them. Haldora felt both worried and safe.
- You came for him. – Anna spoke, half way through the road.
- I don’t know. All I wanted to do was hear him say a word at me. I can’t forget him. I know he is here in this land. I think I saw him, as a child, earlier today. I couldn’t get near him, I felt as if I were being burned. She said I would never see him again.
- I know you’ll find him. I know you will.
- And then do what? I cannot die, he will. He cannot know me, the true me.
- Your life will be meaningless if you don’t. – Anna stated.
- I will forget him.
They reached a river and stopped to get a drink of the fresh water. Anna drank and Haldora did not. They continued their walk; they crossed a few farmers coming back from their lands, pushing their wagons. Haldora passed by one of the group and was immediately drawn to a young boy. She stared at him, the boy was not aware. She was close to touching him, when she felt a burn like sensation on her hand. She redrew her hand and the group went on, it seemed they had not seen her.
She was as invisible…
