Sunday, December 17, 2006

Chapter VI

CHAPTER VI
Arms raised, salt on the ground, stillness…
Haldora looked around to find Anna with her arms raised high to the sky, her expression of tiredness and cool. She dropped her arms to her side and took Haldora by the hand. They took a fast pace back to the hut, Haldora was still amazed as to how Hella disappeared. She was still at odds with what happened. Suddenly pain, unbearable, excruciating pain. Haldora fell to the ground twisting and squirming and yelling. She could feel her bosom parting in two and could feel her own blood flowing out of her body. Her hands took to her scar and were covered in redness. Her breaths were hard to take. Anna observed the air instead of her friend, there was a strange fog around. The smell of mould still lingered. Anna raised her hands again and uttered some strange words and as suddenly as the pain appeared it disappeared. Haldora lay on the ground gasping for air. Anna bent down above her and tried to calm her down. Haldora took her hand to her dress and felt nothing but dryness. Anna helped her up and took her back to the hut. The animal skins were soon around her and Haldora fell in a deep sleep caused by the tiredness. Anna sat down eating her dinner and wondering about this woman and the weirdness surrounding her.
The Sun had not yet showed his face already Haldora worked at her spindle. She tried to work her worries away, her future was uncertain and her present confusing. Anna awoke, Haldora quickly started to prepare a meal for her hostess. Anna stretched still lying on the ground and observed her friend.
- Have you eaten? – Anna asked.
- I’m not hungry.
- You never seem to be hungry. You’ve only had one meal since you’ve been here. – Anna alerted.
- I already ate, that’s why I am not hungry. – Haldora corrected.
- Oh, I see.
Haldora gave her a bowl with oatmeal. Anna began to eat it as soon as she sat down.
- I guess you are still a bit ill, you should have not gone out, you are still very weak. – Anna explained.
- You’re right. I thought I was better.
- Your chest couldn’t take the moist of the air. You must be more careful.
Haldora seized this opportunity to commit to staying indoors. As she thought it would be safer for her. She went back to her spindle and Anna kept on eating.
- I should take you to do my visits. I think you could use the exercise, to open your chest.
Haldora shook at her suggestion.
- I thought I would stay in for a while, before I’d leave. I don’t want to get worse.
- The sun will do you good. And besides, I can introduce you so you can start working. Get your life together.
Haldora could not argue with her hostess and so prepared to leave at her request. She was worried that the sun would hurt her eyes just as much as of Hella appearing again. Time and time again she looked out the door to the woods with some fear. Anna seemed serene yet aware of Haldora’s behavior.
The two women left the hut carrying baskets on their backs and walked through the woods to the population. During the long walk Haldora always walked a few steps in front of Anna and she seemed tireless, her basket was quite full and still she walked as if it were empty. Anna was forced to nearly run to keep up with her friend. But Anna was right, the walk and the sun, though hard on her eyes, did do Haldora good, she enjoyed seeing new people who were not lost in their own emptiness. She was still haunted by voices she could not place. During the many visits, where she was introduced to the occupants of the houses as a good seamstress, she spent most of her time looking around her to place what she could hear but could not see. The people in the village were friendly and all seemed to accept her as their own. Many women said they would go to see her soon, for new clothes. Haldora was feeling useful again, but she could not understand what it was that Anna did. She went from house to house and sold her bottles and sachets, on the way she took many plants and stored them in her basket. All Haldora understood was that Anna was loved by many and detested by others. The later ones looked upon her with disgust and others looked away in fear. Anna seemed oblivious to all of this.
The last house they would visit was farther from the village, the walk was still long and the sun was setting, making it easier for Haldora to see. She still was not tired and now carried both baskets, for Anna was exhausted. They came to a house and Anna clapped her hands. Almost instantly an old man came out. He looked severe and rude. He looked at Haldora with an inquisitive expression, and then smiled at Anna. She stretched her hands to him and he took them. Haldora’s eyes would not stop moving because of the constant noise around her. It seemed to have gotten more intense as they had drawn near the house. The old man noticed this behavior and with a glance at Anna obtained confirmation.
- She can hear them.
Haldora froze in fear. The man smiled at her and with a gesture invited them in. The two women walked in. At the centre of the house was a table, at which they sat, after setting their baskets down. The old man closed the heavy wooden door and stood in front of the table. At the end of the table their stood a caldron over a fire. He stood in front of it, closed his eyes and the fire under the caldron grew. He raised his hands up and seemed the command the smoke coming from the liquid in the caldron. The smoke flew up and seemed to draw up in the air shapes and forms. Soon Haldora was amazed to see her own story appearing in the mist. Her death, her afterlife and her new life were all there. She looked at Anna, she too could see it. Haldora rose from her chair and stood back glued to the wall in fear.
- Are you Gods??
- No, we are not Gods. – The old man assured as he brought the mist down with his arms. - We possess knowledge.
Haldora’s breaths grow faster. She panted.
- Hal, don’t be afraid. – Anna comforted her. – We won’t hurt you. We are trying to help you.
- There was a time… - The old man began to explain, as she drew near her. – Before time was time when men and gods were the same. Knowledge was shared. – He took her hand and led her back to her seat. – Men and their flaws made us loose this relationship. – He sat down next to her. – Some of us mortals still possess this knowledge. We can see and hear things most people cannot. We can control things most mortals could not. But we are not gods.
- You can hear them, can’t you? – Anna inquired.
Haldora nodded her head.
- The voices you hear are spirits that for some reason or another have not crossed to their world. They come to you because you can hear them.
- They come to you because partly you are like them.
- Like them? – Haldora asked.
- Yes. – The man answered. – When came to this world, you were already a spirit. Your soul was rotting in the Underworld, paying the price for your sin. A sin you committed long ago in your own time. Eras ago. You died on that field with that man. You died many, many years ago. This time is not your time. You have a body, but in essence you are only a spirit, a very old spirit. Your body is empty.
- You don’t eat. You don’t drink. You don’t get tired. You don’t feel much pain, expect for the pain your god inflicted in you. – Anna pointed out.
- I’m dead…
- Yes. Your strength is remarkable. You crossed. Half spirited and all, you crossed to this world. You are not supposed to be here.
Haldora propped her head between her hands and began to cry.
- My world is dead. My world is death. – She cried.
The old man looked at Anna in sadness, she in her turn padded Haldora’s head.
- She’ll come for me. She’ll take me and she’ll haunt me forever. I can’t go back. – Haldora cried.
The voices that bothered her were growing more and more intense. They seemed now as a swarm of bees in her head, all with individual voices and many things to say. She grew more and more impatient. She set her hands on the table and in a flash jumped up from her chair.
- SHUT UP! – She screamed and almost immediately the clay pots and glass bottles broke.
The voices were silenced and the noise heard was Haldora’s heavy breaths.
-My child, you need to learn patience. – The old man cleared. – I will teach you this.
- Teach? – She asked.
- You have more knowledge than you know. If someone does not teach you, you will grow insane. I will teach you to block the voices, to centre your strength. I will teach you to deflect the spirits and the gods.
Haldora sat back down, still with tears running down her cheeks.
- Thank you. I just get her away from me.
- I will and soon so will you. Tomorrow you and I will take a trip and we will go to a forgotten place, there you will learn. From there you will leave as a new person… to live … forever.
The old man looked at Anna and she was in accordance. Haldora felt safer than she ever had.
Anna and Haldora went back home to prepare for the trip. As they walked night crept up behind them. Haldora felt both worried and safe.
- You came for him. – Anna spoke, half way through the road.
- I don’t know. All I wanted to do was hear him say a word at me. I can’t forget him. I know he is here in this land. I think I saw him, as a child, earlier today. I couldn’t get near him, I felt as if I were being burned. She said I would never see him again.
- I know you’ll find him. I know you will.
- And then do what? I cannot die, he will. He cannot know me, the true me.
- Your life will be meaningless if you don’t. – Anna stated.
- I will forget him.
They reached a river and stopped to get a drink of the fresh water. Anna drank and Haldora did not. They continued their walk; they crossed a few farmers coming back from their lands, pushing their wagons. Haldora passed by one of the group and was immediately drawn to a young boy. She stared at him, the boy was not aware. She was close to touching him, when she felt a burn like sensation on her hand. She redrew her hand and the group went on, it seemed they had not seen her.
She was as invisible…

Chapter V

The mud was soft and soon she began to sink in. The loss of breath awoke her. Haldora was in the middle of a dense wood under heavy rain. She got up and tried to walk, but she would only slip in the mud. She then crawled towards a cave, where she sat shivering waiting for the rain to end. Haldora was no longer happy to have her senses back, she could not remember the last time she had felt this cold or hungry. The rain was heavy and long lasting and soon Haldora fainted of cold and hunger.
The crackling sound of a wood burning fire woke Haldora up and she opened her eyes as if to find out if it was a dream. She was in hut, a fire was burning beside her and she was covered with animal skins. The hut seemed much empty, till an older woman entered, letting the light of the sun in. Haldora’s eyes where hurt by this light, she turned her head. The woman closed the cloth in front of the door and set her baskets down.
- You’re awake. I thought you would never wake.
Haldora looked around in a panic.
- Don’t worry, you’re safe. I brought you here from the cave you were in. You were delirious with fever. I kept you warm, gave you some food. You seem to be all right now. How do you feel?
Haldora still looked reluctant to speak, she could understand most of what was said, but could not make out much of it.
- Don’t be afraid, really. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m Anna. This is my house. - She reached for the fire and took a leftover chicken, she handed it to Haldora. Haldora took it and ate it franticly. Anna smiled. - Let us see if we can find something for you to wash that down with. - She looked around and found a bottle, popped the cork and gave it to Haldora, who drank it. - That should get some color back on that face of yours.
A noise was heard outside. Anna made a gesture for Haldora to calm down. She got up and looked out the door, then picked up a small sachet and left. Haldora went on eating and drinking. Anna came back inside.
- Sorry love, just a bit of business. So, are you ready to talk now? What’s your name?
- Haldora. - She answered with a trembling voice.
- That is a very odd name. It sounds ancient.
Haldora nodded her head. Anna looked at her and thought for a second.
- Haldora is of the old realm.
Haldora was amazed at this information.
- Yes. I remember my grandmother saying that a long time ago, before time was time, in the old kingdoms of the North, there were people with an odd sounding tongue and they worshiped the Haldora’s. The half spirited ones.
Haldora was now very scared. Her eyes were wide open at the thought of some one knowing the secret of her origins.
- Your people must still be descendants of those others and I bet you speak the old tongue. Good for you I can understand it. - Explained Anna.
Haldora still said nothing.
- Shall we just call you…Hal, to make it easier? - Anna smiled kindly and Haldora knew she was safe, she nodded.
- Good. So, where are you from, Hal?
Haldora thought how to answer this question, but she had no way of doing so, she looked so troubled, that Anna jumped to her own conclusions.
- You don’t remember, do you?
Haldora shook her head.
- It’s all right, Hal. You are here now and I will take care of you.
Haldora smiled.
- Where is here?
- Wessex! You’re in the kingdom of Wessex.
Haldora’s shined upon hearing this word. Anna was not indifferent to this, but remained quiet.
- Now, let’s see if we can find you some clothes that fit.
Anna gave her some clothes of her own, but they all seemed to be very big on Haldora. Anna did not seem to mind that, it was in fact rather funny. Haldora was happy to hear again the laughter of another mortal for the longest of time all she could hear were the screams from across the walls.
Haldora left the hut, to soak herself in the sun, but soon found its light to be too bright for her. Her eyes could not stay open and were teary. She came back inside and sat at the darkest corner of the hut, where she felt safe. Anna noticed this but again remained quiet. She brought Haldora a drop spindle and before she could explain how the mechanism worked, Haldora was using it properly, not that she had ever used it before, but her understanding, seemed to be a step farther then Anna’s. Again was silent at the strangeness of this woman. Haldora spindled at a fast pace and soon she had enough thread to fix Anna’s old clothes and turn them into dresses that fit perfectly, as done especially for her.
- I believe we’ve found you a job. - Anna announced.
Haldora was proud of herself. She drew near Anna to help her with the preparation of the food. When she stretched her hands Anna noticed they were bleeding and burnt from the thread running fast through her fingers, Haldora did not seemed to notice and show no indication of pain. Anna grabs her hand and poured a liquid on her hands, she squirmed in pain, but not with the reaction that Anna was expecting. Haldora was again fearful but Anna never showed herself too concerned. The dinner arrangements kept both of the women busy and when the sun was setting Haldora tried again to leave the hut. This time, she could move freely, eyes open and no tears. She could see all around her, even in dark corners. But she could not feel the softness of the leaves in her hands, nor could she really say if flowers had the right smell. She heard noises around her that did not seem to be natural; she could never locate them, nor see where they were. Anna watched from a distance, while Haldora roamed the woods as an animal let loose after a long stay indoors. Anna studied all of Haldora’s attempts to be as she once had been. Now in the twilight Anna could finally notice that the pale white skin was not of illness but natural. By the dark she looked almost dead, though her features were alive. Anna knew something was very mysterious about this woman, but still she was not about to deny her anything, it had been a long time since she had had company.
Haldora did not wonder very far, but at a clearance where the evening star was now starting to twinkle, she stopped and laid on the ground to look at it. She heard a familiar voice and soon smelled a familiar smell, cold surrounded her and fear invaded her. She got up and there she stood hovering, Hella. She stretched her hands towards Haldora as if to grab her and Haldora was frozen in her piercing eyes.
A new familiar voice, a scream and at once the smell was gone, the cold had pass, confusion still stayed.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Chapter IV

A loud shriek was heard through out the halls of the grand palace, waking Haldora, who had not for a long time heard anything which troubled her. She jumped from her bed and walked through the halls following the loud shriek. She seemed to be the only on to do so. No other person seemed to be able to hear the sound. She came to a new chamber; she had not been in before. It was a high ceiling chamber, with a strange grey light, though no windows or any source of light were seen. This light hurt Haldora’s eyes and she had to cover them with her hand, in order to see. She walked in and looked around, the chamber was empty, a apart from a large poll and a gigantic chain. The chain stretched till the darkest part of the chamber and Haldora followed it. As she was about to enter complete darkness again Hella abruptly appeared before her. Haldora screamed.
- I was not sure you could hear it. – Said Hella, pushing Haldora back to the light.
- Could hear what?
- Our ride.
Upon saying these words, movement was noticeable in the darkest part of the chamber. Something massive was approaching and Haldora was frightened for the first time in a long time. First she saw the paw, a long grey scaled paw, with tree great white claws, then the other paw and after the light invaded slowly all of its body, she saw that it was a dragon. His head was massive, with two large white horns and a long mouth, which shot a long red snake-like tongue. Around its neck, was a collar and attached to it was the gigantic chain. Haldora admired this giant being in awe, whereas Hella was only interested in taunting it. She would grab the chain and rattle it, making the collar move and annoying the dragon, who would shriek. Hella would laugh.
- My father gave me this dragon, after he slain him. He is the Underworld dragon. Otr.
- He is quite the beast.
- And he is our ride. Come.
The two women climbed on the dragon’s back and sat on a saddle. Hella broke off the chain as if it were a twig and used it for reins. Haldora held Hella by the waist as tightly as she could. The dragon took off. At first it seemed they would hit the ceiling as they were flying. Haldora closed her eyes dreading the impact, but nothing occurred. She opened them again and saw nothing but clouds, white clouds and light. Light so bright it stung her eyes and she almost could not see where they were going. She was however happy, she could feel warmth again, after she could not feel a thing in the Underworld. She could hear the wind breeze by her hears. She could even smell the clouds, though she did know whether clouds had smell, she could swear she sensed them.
- I must tell you that there are rules to our visit. You must never leave my side. You must never speak to no one, mortal or immortal. You must never touch anything. Do you understand? If you break these rules I will haunt you forever. Do not make me regret this.
Haldora nodded her head in understanding.
Hella pushed Otr’s chain and the dragon set down on a white corridor. Hella and Haldora climbed down and as Haldora touched the ground she knew she was again different. Her senses were with her once more. Hella removed a shroud from the saddle and wrapped Haldora in it.
- Never take this off.
- What is it?
- It’s an invisibility shroud.
The two ladies walked through the long corridor of light and came to a grand door. Hella opened it with no effort and inside Haldora could again smell food and drink and crave for it. She could hear the laughter of the great warriors, as if it were the day of a great victory in her village. Many of the Gods sitting at the table turned their heads as soon as Hella came in, her moldy stench filled the room, and Haldora was nauseated by it as well. The warriors were mostly too drunk to notice. Hella lead Haldora through the room, and Haldora could not understand, whether the Gods could in fact see her or whether they were just amazed to see Hella around. Haldora looked for her warrior but could not find him. The party was cheery and the warriors were waited on by the ever dedicated Valkyrie. Hella sat down on a chair far away from the group and made Haldora sit on the floor by her side.
- Let us wait. He will show sooner or later.
As they waited a man sat down on a chair next to Hella.
- It has been a long time since you came up here, my dear. - He said, giving her a drink.
- Well, it’s been a long time since they allow you back in, father.
The man smiled. Hella took a sip from her drink.
- I have fallen on Odin’s good graces again.
- And how long till I see you downstairs again? - Hella smiled.
- As much as I love to be around my dear daughter, I fear it will be a while this time.
Haldora looked at this couple and grew impatient. She could see a door, from where she sat and was extremely curious to know what was beyond it. Maybe there she could see her warrior, seeing he was shy from the party. The conversation between Hella and her father continued and Haldora slowly got up and moved towards the door. As she talked, Hella searched with her hand to find Haldora’s presence, she almost felt her absence, were it not for her father grabbing both her hands to tell her how he longed to visit her in the Underworld.
Haldora got through the door undetected and was amazed at what she saw. It was the grand Hall of Life. There, hanging on the wall, where the lives to be chosen by the warriors, after their service to Odin was done. Three Valkyrie chose the course, length and success of each of them. Already a few warriors stood in line to get a new life among the living. Haldora came close to see the process. The warrior would grab a thread and it would speak out its life. He would take it from the wall and wrap it around his neck. Then the golden women would take their souls and breathe them into an unborn baby. The births of these babies were witnessed from above, as their reflection appeared in a lake of dark water. Haldora was in awe as she watched the process unravel before her eyes. She got as close as she could to the hedge of the balcony where she stood. When looking down, she saw there was no passage to the Hall of Live from where she was, instead just a long drop to emptiness.
She was so distracted that she did not see Hella’s father come close to her.
- Inspiring! - He said frightening her. - There’s no need to be afraid. I am Loki and I mean you no harm. I will not tell a soul of you’re being here.
Haldora remained quiet and still.
- Speaking of souls. Here comes the next batch.
A group of warriors came through the same door as Haldora and Loki had come in. Instantly a bridge appeared before their feet to the Hall of Life. They passed one by one. Close to the end of the group, Haldora stirred. Her warrior was there.
- Is he who you are looking for? I guess his time as come. Shall we wait and see what life he chooses?
Haldora could not look away and saw him choose a farmer’s life in a new land called Wessex. He was swept by a golden woman and breathe into an unborn child and soon the image of his mother giving birth to him was reflected on the lake. His first cry was heard and the image disappeared.
- Another success. - The soft voice of the golden woman announced.
Haldora broke her silence and cried a muffled cry. Loki looked at her and smiled as if mocking her sadness. Hella storm through the door and before she could she Haldora, Loki pushed her off the balcony straight to the emptiness. Haldora cried but she could not hear her own voice, she saw nothing but white and blue, she heard nothing by quiet…

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Chapter III

The darkness seemed to be the longest prisoner of this place, all around she stood and strangely Haldora’s eyes were getting accustomed to this darkness, though, she never let got of the ever lit candle holder, she took from her room, whenever she was investigating her surroundings. The screams were still heard, but always at a distance, they seem to come from the other side of the walls, though no door or passage were ever to be found. Haldora found other people roaming the halls of what seemed to be a grand palace, they were mindless faces, walking from side to side, saying nothing, and staring at nothing. The world of the living was no longer in their heads and she found it increasingly hard to recognize them as people or spirits, everything seemed to be nothing, to her eyes although she knew what everything was. Soon she knew she sensed nothing, no smell, no touch, no aroma, nothing. She did not starve for food or thirst for water. She did not even breathe as much as she should. Her nails and hair stopped growing after a time and the only change in her was the slowly healing scar on her chest.
- I should have told you this is a timeless place. – Said Hella, appearing from thin air, no longer did her moldy smell troubled Haldora. – I have seen you wandering around all this time and you seem not to understand how this place works.
Haldora rose from the floor and stood in front of Hella
- When you said start again… What did you mean?
Hella grinned.
– What did you think I meant? - She asked, lying on the bed.
– To go back… to the living. - Haldora explained.
– Is that what you want?
– Yes. - Hella looked her straight in the eyes, hers were piercing colorless eyes. - Then I am curious as to why you took your own life?
Haldora could not answer this. She sat on the throne-like chair and stared at the ground.
– Come on, Haldora! Tell me your story. - She requested, as she cuddled on the bed.
– I thought the gods knew all. - Haldora stated, raising her head in defiance.
Hella smiled.
– Insolence, I like that. News does not travel fast to this part of the territory.
– So you are as rejected as all of us.
Hella’s expression changed to serious.
– Insolence is entertaining, have a care it does not turn annoying. Haldora remained defiant.
- Don’t you want to tell me your story? - Hella asked nicely.
– I though I was meant to forget.
– But before you do. Entertain me.
A silence was followed. Hella smiled to Haldora, and she confessed nothing through neither words nor gestures.
– All right, I will tell you what I know. When I found you, you were dead next to the body of a man, who I believe is the ‘he’ you mentioned earlier. I noticed he was wearing a different sort of armor. He was not an enemy, otherwise Freya would not have taken him, so… who was he then?
– An ally. - Haldora answered, looking to the ground.
– And I assumed it was his axe you took to your bosom.
Haldora nodded
- The question remains who was he?
Haldora lifted her head slowly.
– He was a brave warrior from the south, who died defending our banner.
– Your banner fell.
– Yes and he died trying to rescue it.
Silence was again instilled, Hella got up from the bed.
– You must tell me everything. You will never see him again and soon you will not remember him at all. You must let me carry your story. Maybe one day it will be told among the living.
- I will tell you the story, if you show me where he is.
Hella laughed, her laughter echoed through out the halls and sounded like the walls were crumbling down. Haldora was unaffected by this noise.
- Why would I do that?
- Because you want to know my story and my condition for telling it is that.
- That is blackmail. I like that, but not enough to grant you your request. Besides I do not trust you.
- Why? You are a Goddess, you are powerful and he is in a place of Gods. What could I a mere mortal do? What’s there not to trust? I can do nothing.
- You have courage, challenging me like that. I can arrange it. Tell me your story first. - Hella lay back on the bed, getting ready to hear the story.
- He came from the south, and I never knew his name. He has fought many battles. He is considered one of the richest men in all of the land. I watched him train for the battle every day. He has a different sort of sword, it broke the night before the battle, and he said it was a bad omen. He fights with his right hand but does everything else with his left; his right shoulder does not seem to work well. I left medicine for him at his door. I sewed his clothes in the dark and kept his fire burning each night. I always watched him from a far and I promised I would tell him… before the battle… I would… I would tell him.
- Tell him how you watched him? Tell him why you watched him?
- I was just going to try and talk to him.
- And then he died and you never got the chance to tell him anything. And he never knew you were there. – Hella seemed to mock Haldora’s story.
- No.
- Did he never suspect anyone?
Silence. Long heavy breaths.
- Yes, he did.
- Just not of you.
Haldora nodded in sadness.
- You prepared his body and called the Valkyrie. Then you attempted death so they would take you?
Haldora took a deep breath, as Hella tried to understand Haldora’s actions.
- I thought they would take pity on me.
Hella sat on the bed, she smiled as a mother smiles to her child.
- It’s not how this goes. You committed a terrible sin. You took the only gift the gods ever give you and you threw it away. Life is only yours to live, not to take. No god will take pity on you. And you will never leave this place.
- Will he leave Valhalla? - Haldora shyly asked.
- Yes. When Odin no longer needs him, his soul will go back to the living, and he will live there until his soul is full, then he will return to Valhalla where he will live forever.
- He will be happy, then. - Haldora concluded.
- That is really up to him. But you need not concern yourself with that. - Hella got up and walked to the door, as she passed Haldora, she touched her shoulder. - Tomorrow I will grant your wish. - Hella whispered and then walked away.
Haldora looked up with victorious eyes. She smiled.