Michael took the first step and held Haldora as long as she could without feeling uncomfortable by her coldness. She squeezed as tight as she could without hurting him, believing that this meant that all was forgotten. He unlocked the embrace and sat on the bed looking down on the floor. Haldora struggled for something to say.
- You searched for me… for a long long time. -, he eventually said.
- I’ve love you for a long long time.
- When you said you were a witch I never thought your life was so complex.
She smiled.
- The green lady?
- Hella. She’s … a … Goddess. -, Haldora explained.
- That explains the memories of previous lives. And you came back from the dead to find me?
- I had help.
- I was flattered that you had waited four years to speak to me, I such be proud of this now, right?
- Michael. This changes nothing.
- I beg to differ. I’ve just found out that my girlfriend is… dead and she’s been roaming through time to find me… again and again.
- It means we are meant to be together.
- Does it? -, he asked, leaving Haldora extremely insecure.
She sat on the floor in front of Michael. She touched his legs, but even his woolen clothes could not protect him from the ice-coldness of her skin. He redrew as her touch. She raised her hands and held them to her chest.
- What about… Isabel?
Haldora swallowed dry at the mentioning of the name.
- Hella is a liar! Once she showed me your death. A thousand times I saw you die, in all ways possible and imaginable. It was a lie. An illusion. -, Haldora attempted to explain.
- It’s not. -, he announced, - I was with her and then I had strange dreams with a blonde woman. You were in my dreams. Your dreams made me want to me more adventurous. You gave me dreams of castles and wonders and that’s the life I wanted. Our relationship is the illusion.
- Don’t say that! -, she whispered.
- Hal! Haldora! Every time we meet you are right back to when you were the smithy’s daughter. You are still there and I’m not.
Haldora got up from the floor and walked to the window.
- I’ve learn how to mingle with time, how to understand change and evolution and innovation.
- But I don’t think you’ve changed at all.
Haldora couldn’t answer. She walked around the room understanding that what she had was slipping away from her, by the hand of the person she thought would never do such a thing. She lit a cigarette.
- I didn’t know you smoked. -, he realized.
- I didn’t want you to know. -, she explained.
- It’s a good way to start a relationship, with secrets. -, he joked, though they both were not in the mood to laugh.
- What happens in ten, twenty years? -, he asked as he got up and faced her.
- I redrew form public sight. I change places. -, she explained.
- And what happens to us? -, he asked.
At this question, Haldora was filled with hope as she understood that Michael still saw them together in the future. She smiled lightly.
- You can come with me. Live anywhere. Alone. Secluded.
- Without a care in the world? -, he asked walking towards her.
She nodded as she saw him approach. He stopped when he was very close to her.
- What happens when I die? -, he asked in a half whisper.
- I’ll find you again! I promise. -, she answered back in a half whisper.
- What if I don’t want you to?
- What?
- Would you follow my wish or yours?
- I don’t understand.
- You’re not with me because I want you, you are with me because you want to. –, he explained, - What if I don’t want it anymore?
Haldora couldn’t answer.
- That’s right. I don’t have a saying in it. -, he smiled, - You said it yourself, souls come back to work on their past mistakes. I don’t even get to do that because you’re condemning me to live the same life over and over again. I don’t get to choose anything. It’s not even my life, because you meddled. I have memories of how I thought this girl who took the time to take care of me was sweet. I have the image of the blonde woman standing over me by the light of the fire. This image didn’t leave my mind for the longest of time. And all it took was seeing you by the fire and I remembered it again. I can remember how scared I was when I saw your scar and when you disappeared before our eyes, but afterwards I missed you. I missed talking to you. And to have you in my dreams, I couldn’t forget you though I couldn’t remember you. Can you understand what you did?
She lowered her head understanding that he was right. He raised her chin with his finger.
- It doesn’t mean I didn’t love what we had, but next time I want it to be different.
Haldora discovered at that time that she was unable to shed tears, though her expression appeared as if she would break into tears at any moment. Michael approached and took her in his arms and kissed her. Haldora was unable to return the kiss in all its intensity, because she discovered she had lost her sense of touch a long with everything else. Michael only let go when her coldness became unbearable.
- You should go. -, she whispered as his arms redrew from her body, - It ends now.
Michael was surprised at her resolution. He was prepared for a long debate. Haldora presented a tough expression and seemed unaffected by the kiss, though her insides were revolving. He searched for something to say.
- I didn’t mean for us to… -, he tried to explain, but she interrupted.
- It can’t go on. It’s too much for you to handle, I know. Leave.
For a few moments Michael stood in front of her looking for any break of her countenance, but she did not break. She stood as an unaffected statue, taking slow drags from her cigarette, waiting for him to leave the room.
Al last Michael moved away from her and started his slow route towards the door. She still stood as a statue. He grabbed the door knob and waited for a word or sound. There was none. He twisted it and walked out. As he took every step in grief, Haldora glued herself to the door to hear his last steps out of her life. She sat with her back to the door and there she stood in her silent cry.
Michael went by Anna without saying a word, she attempted to talk, but by the look in his face she could tell that whatever had happen had not been good and she was better off leaving both of them alone.
Hours were passed in silent waiting. Anna was not sure if she should go up to the room and talk to her friend, so she sat down on the sofas waiting to some sort of sign. Unwillingly she fell asleep, as she was tired from the party the previous night.
Haldora made her way downstairs when she felt ready. She passed Anna as if she was made of air, went into her office and sat at her computer typing away like a mad woman. Her face seemed to be made of marble. There was no emotion upon it, only graveness. Since Hella’s visit she was less of human being and more of a shadow of it.
Anna awoke and listened to the typing sound. She watched Haldora from the door, thorn. She wanted to comfort her friend but was unable to perceive if she really needed it. Anna drew on all her patience to wait for a sign from her friend. At long last, since Haldora didn’t ask for help, she forced herself to enter the office and present it whether or not her friend was ready for it. As Anna approached the desk, she got a glimpse of Haldora erasing Michael’s photos. At this point it was a reality, he would not come back. Anna set her hand on Haldora’s shoulder, struggling with herself not to withdraw it as soon as she felt the coldness of the skin. Haldora stopped for a second and the removed Anna’s hand from her shoulder.
- Talk to me. -, Anna requested.
- There is nothing to say! -, Haldora replied.
- As he left you?
- Can you blame him? -, Anna was now certain of the content of their conversation.
- What did he say? -, Haldora gave no answer, - What were his reasons?
- He didn’t need reasons. He had facts.
For a second both women were silent. Anna couldn’t think of anything more to say or ask. Haldora didn’t seem to want any comfort.
- I’ve signed the shop over to you. I’ve sent it to the lawyers and it should be resolved in a day or two.
Upon hearing this Anna pushed Haldora’s chair round so they could face each other.
- You did what? Why the hell would you do that?
- I trust you. I know you’ll take care of the shop and you’ll do great.
- That’s not what I meant. You own this place, why would you give it to me?
- Because I won’t be here to run it.
- Where are you going?
- I don’t know.
- You’re going to disappear?
- Yes, but in a way I’ve never did before.
- You can’t.
- And why not?
- You need to stay and fight this.
- Fight what?
- I don’t know. Fight for Michael.
Haldora took a long pause.
- Anna, you were a great friend before and you lived up to it, but there’s nothing else to do. Michael is gone and soon so will be I.
- What about me? -, Anna asked with tears flooding her eyes.
- I would love to stay here with you, forever. But that’s not possible. Forever is not possible.
- Hal, where will you go? -, Anna asked again in fright.
- I don’t know. It’s out of my control.
Haldora turned to her computer and Anna began to understand that her friend was talking about something more permanent then a journey to a new location.
- Will we ever meet again?
Haldora stopped her typing again. She rose from her chair and held her friend without providing an answer. Anna confirmed her suspicions.
- You’re going away for good, aren’t you? -, Anna asked as soon as the embrace was over and there was still no answer, - Answer me! -, she ordered unable to hold her tears any longer.
- In this world, we will never meet again. -, Haldora calmly answered.
- You can’t do this.
Haldora sat down and continued to erase Michael’s photos and all other remembrances of her stay. Anna cried beside her and it did not seem to affect her. When she was done, she got up and kissed her friend on the forehead and slowly made her way towards her apartment. Anna followed her as far as the downstairs door, but she was unable to go any further. She leant against the door as Haldora close it behind her.
Anna sat on the floor crying for her friend unable to think of a way to stop her. For the longest time she sat in fear of what would be going on above. She was certain she had seen Haldora for the last time. As she calmed herself down she got up and glanced at the bookshop’s doors. Michael stood by the door looking in. Anna rushed to open the door. She was surprised to see him, after the way she had left earlier in the day. Michael stepped visibly disturbed. He couldn’t take his eyes of the door that led to the apartment.
- Michael! -, Anna called out.
He looked at her for a second.
- What are you doing here?
- I don’t know. I need to talk to her. Where is she?
- She’s upstairs.
Michael started to make his way towards the door.
- She’s going away! -, Anna told him.
He stopped close to the door and turned back to Anna.
- What?
- She’s going… for good!
Michael didn’t really seem to understand the true meaning of those words, but he ran upstairs and Anna followed. The door was not closed. They entered and saw Haldora sitting on the bed meditating. All was silent and both couldn’t bring themselves to disrupt it. They came close to the bed and no sound seemed to take Haldora from her trance. As Michael stretched his hand to touch her pale skin, Haldora stirred, he withdrew his hand.
- Morrigan! -, she called out.
Michael was confused, but Anna was disturbed, she knew the name.
- Morrigan! -, Haldora called out again in higher voice.
Michael looked at Anna for an explanation, but before Anna could formulate a sentence, Haldora interrupted her.
- Morrigan!
A wind began to blow inside the room, it was a hot wind. It came from the fireplace. The flames were higher and soon burst out of the fireplace in a straight line, as the flames withdrew, a form was visible. A woman stood where the flames had stood. Michael and Anna took a step back, but Haldora remained unaffected. The woman smiled at them, when the flames had withdrawn to their original place, though they still burned high.
- It’s the Goddess. -, Anna finally explained, dropping to her knees in an involuntary act. A remembrance of days before.
Michael stood looking at this woman, beautiful as she was. She walked slowly towards Haldora and held out her hand. Haldora’s body remained sitting though her spirit held Morrigan’s hand and left the bed.
- I want my wish. -, Haldora’s spirit.
Morrigan smiled, she already knew her purpose for being there.
- You kept you promise. -, Morrigan confirmed.
- Will you keep yours?
- Name your wish! -, Morrigan requested with a smile.
- Erase my existence. End my life where it ought to have ended.
- No! -, Anna cried.
- Someone doesn’t seem sure of your decision.
- It’s my decision!
Morrigan walked towards Anna, still kneeling down. She touched her shoulder and raised her with a look.
- Would you erase the tears your friend as cried for you? Would you erase her pride in knowing she once helped one less fortunate then herself? Would you erase her sense of duty towards a friend? -, Morrigan asked staring deeply into Anna’s eyes.
Haldora’s spirit gave no answer. Morrigan walked over to Michael and touched his face.
- Would you erase his eyes? His lips? His touch? Would you erase his pleasure from when he first touched you? Would you erase his love? Would you erase the flower he gave you when he thought of you and me? -, Morrigan asked as she looked into his eyes deeply.
Haldora seemed unable to answer, her memory was engaged elsewhere. Michael was there with her. He had stopped looking at Morrigan to look at Haldora’s spirit.
- If that is your wish, I will not honor it! -, Morrigan interrupted the moment.
Haldora’s spirit lowered her head.
- You left your mark where you passed. Nothing can erase that! Not even me! -, Morrigan explained.
- I want to remember you! -, Michael spoke. The women turned their head towards him, - I can’t be with you, but I can’t be without you.
Haldora’s spirit looked to be in agony. She was unable to fix her eyes on anything. They went back and forwards between Michael and Anna, who told all their own agonies through their eyes.
- I’ll give you one more chance! -, Morrigan announced.
Haldora’s spirit asked for nothing in words, but Morrigan nodded as if she had heard a new wish. The agreement was settled. Anna and Michael were frightened, since they had no idea what had been agreed.
- Make your farewells.
Haldora’s spirit glided over to Anna and though unable to touch her, she pressed her lips against her friend’s cheek. Anna felt a warm feeling on her face and smiled through her pain. Haldora’s spirit then glided over to Michael, who immediately tried to hug her, but all he could feel was air between his arms. She touched his face and he pressed his hand exactly where she had laid hers. She pressed her lips against his and for a moment he could feel her as before. He embraced her for a few moments before she became air again. Anna looked to Morrigan, who waited by the fireplace, she was seemed touched with the image and exhibited a slight smile. Haldora glided back to Morrigan. Morrigan took her hand and turned her to the flames. At first Haldora’s spirit was afraid, she knew what flames could do to her, but after a smile from her Goddess trust was restored. Beyond the flames she could seen her lost friends, Otr and her mentor.
- Welcome to the Summerlands. -, Morrigan greeted as she walked through the flames.
Michael and Anna could do nothing but watch their friend and former lover part. They saw the women be engulfed by flames and disappear under a heavy cool wind. As soon as the wind stopped blowing Haldora's body fell back on the bed motionless. Anna walked over to it and touched her hand, motionless… Coldness… Silence… heartache… longing….
