To Find You
“That to truly fulfill love you must return again at the same time as your
loved one and you must meet and know and remember and love them again.”
For him…
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
CHAPTER XXIX
Michael would never catch his bus at that stop again. He would drive farther to get it. At first he tried but as soon as he leant on the pole he would immediately look up to the window to try and catch a glimpse of the person he never noticed watched him for years, but he knew wasn’t there. There was nothing there but the feeble light of the fire that always burnt. He never dared to enter the bookshop ever again and stopped going to the chatroom where he had enjoyed long conversations. He visited he r grave at times, though he never came too close. He would stand in contemplation of the flowers planted on the ground, they seemed to bare a green that no grass around it could match. The colors were bright and vivacious. He could see amidst of all of them the violet he had given her as a weak apology. He had planted it himself. It grew strong in purple sunset color. Life seemed never able to stop, but it did when he visited her grave. Memories would flood his mind, but only the memories of his present life, all the others were gone with that cold wind that carried her spirit. He still couldn’t believe she had died in her sleep after they had argued about his ex-girlfriend. He could swear at time he could feel her presence right beside him, but when he turned there was nothing there.
His pain was great and never fully understood by himself. Little by little he returned to his life and at time the pain subsided giving way to a feeble joy and at last normality. The visits to her grave were scarce and he could no longer feel her presence. Even his memories became cloudy after a while. He found Isabel again and rekindled his love for her. They would be together for as long as their life would last. Happy.
As for Anna, she was left with a legacy. The shop and the apartment were hers and for the longest time all she could do was cry for a lost friend. She kept the fire burning always. It was where she could feel her presence. She took care of everything with strength she didn’t know she had. At night she would lie in bed awake, staring at the place where her friend’s body had laid. Her sadness never really subsided, she just got used to carrying it.
One night she lied down in front of the fireplace playing with her statue of Toth. She lit a candle in memory of her friend. She opened her computer and wrote this before the wick was out.
His pain was great and never fully understood by himself. Little by little he returned to his life and at time the pain subsided giving way to a feeble joy and at last normality. The visits to her grave were scarce and he could no longer feel her presence. Even his memories became cloudy after a while. He found Isabel again and rekindled his love for her. They would be together for as long as their life would last. Happy.
As for Anna, she was left with a legacy. The shop and the apartment were hers and for the longest time all she could do was cry for a lost friend. She kept the fire burning always. It was where she could feel her presence. She took care of everything with strength she didn’t know she had. At night she would lie in bed awake, staring at the place where her friend’s body had laid. Her sadness never really subsided, she just got used to carrying it.
One night she lied down in front of the fireplace playing with her statue of Toth. She lit a candle in memory of her friend. She opened her computer and wrote this before the wick was out.
CHAPTER XXVIII
Michael took the first step and held Haldora as long as she could without feeling uncomfortable by her coldness. She squeezed as tight as she could without hurting him, believing that this meant that all was forgotten. He unlocked the embrace and sat on the bed looking down on the floor. Haldora struggled for something to say.
- You searched for me… for a long long time. -, he eventually said.
- I’ve love you for a long long time.
- When you said you were a witch I never thought your life was so complex.
She smiled.
- The green lady?
- Hella. She’s … a … Goddess. -, Haldora explained.
- That explains the memories of previous lives. And you came back from the dead to find me?
- I had help.
- I was flattered that you had waited four years to speak to me, I such be proud of this now, right?
- Michael. This changes nothing.
- I beg to differ. I’ve just found out that my girlfriend is… dead and she’s been roaming through time to find me… again and again.
- It means we are meant to be together.
- Does it? -, he asked, leaving Haldora extremely insecure.
She sat on the floor in front of Michael. She touched his legs, but even his woolen clothes could not protect him from the ice-coldness of her skin. He redrew as her touch. She raised her hands and held them to her chest.
- What about… Isabel?
Haldora swallowed dry at the mentioning of the name.
- Hella is a liar! Once she showed me your death. A thousand times I saw you die, in all ways possible and imaginable. It was a lie. An illusion. -, Haldora attempted to explain.
- It’s not. -, he announced, - I was with her and then I had strange dreams with a blonde woman. You were in my dreams. Your dreams made me want to me more adventurous. You gave me dreams of castles and wonders and that’s the life I wanted. Our relationship is the illusion.
- Don’t say that! -, she whispered.
- Hal! Haldora! Every time we meet you are right back to when you were the smithy’s daughter. You are still there and I’m not.
Haldora got up from the floor and walked to the window.
- I’ve learn how to mingle with time, how to understand change and evolution and innovation.
- But I don’t think you’ve changed at all.
Haldora couldn’t answer. She walked around the room understanding that what she had was slipping away from her, by the hand of the person she thought would never do such a thing. She lit a cigarette.
- I didn’t know you smoked. -, he realized.
- I didn’t want you to know. -, she explained.
- It’s a good way to start a relationship, with secrets. -, he joked, though they both were not in the mood to laugh.
- What happens in ten, twenty years? -, he asked as he got up and faced her.
- I redrew form public sight. I change places. -, she explained.
- And what happens to us? -, he asked.
At this question, Haldora was filled with hope as she understood that Michael still saw them together in the future. She smiled lightly.
- You can come with me. Live anywhere. Alone. Secluded.
- Without a care in the world? -, he asked walking towards her.
She nodded as she saw him approach. He stopped when he was very close to her.
- What happens when I die? -, he asked in a half whisper.
- I’ll find you again! I promise. -, she answered back in a half whisper.
- What if I don’t want you to?
- What?
- Would you follow my wish or yours?
- I don’t understand.
- You’re not with me because I want you, you are with me because you want to. –, he explained, - What if I don’t want it anymore?
Haldora couldn’t answer.
- That’s right. I don’t have a saying in it. -, he smiled, - You said it yourself, souls come back to work on their past mistakes. I don’t even get to do that because you’re condemning me to live the same life over and over again. I don’t get to choose anything. It’s not even my life, because you meddled. I have memories of how I thought this girl who took the time to take care of me was sweet. I have the image of the blonde woman standing over me by the light of the fire. This image didn’t leave my mind for the longest of time. And all it took was seeing you by the fire and I remembered it again. I can remember how scared I was when I saw your scar and when you disappeared before our eyes, but afterwards I missed you. I missed talking to you. And to have you in my dreams, I couldn’t forget you though I couldn’t remember you. Can you understand what you did?
She lowered her head understanding that he was right. He raised her chin with his finger.
- It doesn’t mean I didn’t love what we had, but next time I want it to be different.
Haldora discovered at that time that she was unable to shed tears, though her expression appeared as if she would break into tears at any moment. Michael approached and took her in his arms and kissed her. Haldora was unable to return the kiss in all its intensity, because she discovered she had lost her sense of touch a long with everything else. Michael only let go when her coldness became unbearable.
- You should go. -, she whispered as his arms redrew from her body, - It ends now.
Michael was surprised at her resolution. He was prepared for a long debate. Haldora presented a tough expression and seemed unaffected by the kiss, though her insides were revolving. He searched for something to say.
- I didn’t mean for us to… -, he tried to explain, but she interrupted.
- It can’t go on. It’s too much for you to handle, I know. Leave.
For a few moments Michael stood in front of her looking for any break of her countenance, but she did not break. She stood as an unaffected statue, taking slow drags from her cigarette, waiting for him to leave the room.
Al last Michael moved away from her and started his slow route towards the door. She still stood as a statue. He grabbed the door knob and waited for a word or sound. There was none. He twisted it and walked out. As he took every step in grief, Haldora glued herself to the door to hear his last steps out of her life. She sat with her back to the door and there she stood in her silent cry.
Michael went by Anna without saying a word, she attempted to talk, but by the look in his face she could tell that whatever had happen had not been good and she was better off leaving both of them alone.
Hours were passed in silent waiting. Anna was not sure if she should go up to the room and talk to her friend, so she sat down on the sofas waiting to some sort of sign. Unwillingly she fell asleep, as she was tired from the party the previous night.
Haldora made her way downstairs when she felt ready. She passed Anna as if she was made of air, went into her office and sat at her computer typing away like a mad woman. Her face seemed to be made of marble. There was no emotion upon it, only graveness. Since Hella’s visit she was less of human being and more of a shadow of it.
Anna awoke and listened to the typing sound. She watched Haldora from the door, thorn. She wanted to comfort her friend but was unable to perceive if she really needed it. Anna drew on all her patience to wait for a sign from her friend. At long last, since Haldora didn’t ask for help, she forced herself to enter the office and present it whether or not her friend was ready for it. As Anna approached the desk, she got a glimpse of Haldora erasing Michael’s photos. At this point it was a reality, he would not come back. Anna set her hand on Haldora’s shoulder, struggling with herself not to withdraw it as soon as she felt the coldness of the skin. Haldora stopped for a second and the removed Anna’s hand from her shoulder.
- Talk to me. -, Anna requested.
- There is nothing to say! -, Haldora replied.
- As he left you?
- Can you blame him? -, Anna was now certain of the content of their conversation.
- What did he say? -, Haldora gave no answer, - What were his reasons?
- He didn’t need reasons. He had facts.
For a second both women were silent. Anna couldn’t think of anything more to say or ask. Haldora didn’t seem to want any comfort.
- I’ve signed the shop over to you. I’ve sent it to the lawyers and it should be resolved in a day or two.
Upon hearing this Anna pushed Haldora’s chair round so they could face each other.
- You did what? Why the hell would you do that?
- I trust you. I know you’ll take care of the shop and you’ll do great.
- That’s not what I meant. You own this place, why would you give it to me?
- Because I won’t be here to run it.
- Where are you going?
- I don’t know.
- You’re going to disappear?
- Yes, but in a way I’ve never did before.
- You can’t.
- And why not?
- You need to stay and fight this.
- Fight what?
- I don’t know. Fight for Michael.
Haldora took a long pause.
- Anna, you were a great friend before and you lived up to it, but there’s nothing else to do. Michael is gone and soon so will be I.
- What about me? -, Anna asked with tears flooding her eyes.
- I would love to stay here with you, forever. But that’s not possible. Forever is not possible.
- Hal, where will you go? -, Anna asked again in fright.
- I don’t know. It’s out of my control.
Haldora turned to her computer and Anna began to understand that her friend was talking about something more permanent then a journey to a new location.
- Will we ever meet again?
Haldora stopped her typing again. She rose from her chair and held her friend without providing an answer. Anna confirmed her suspicions.
- You’re going away for good, aren’t you? -, Anna asked as soon as the embrace was over and there was still no answer, - Answer me! -, she ordered unable to hold her tears any longer.
- In this world, we will never meet again. -, Haldora calmly answered.
- You can’t do this.
Haldora sat down and continued to erase Michael’s photos and all other remembrances of her stay. Anna cried beside her and it did not seem to affect her. When she was done, she got up and kissed her friend on the forehead and slowly made her way towards her apartment. Anna followed her as far as the downstairs door, but she was unable to go any further. She leant against the door as Haldora close it behind her.
Anna sat on the floor crying for her friend unable to think of a way to stop her. For the longest time she sat in fear of what would be going on above. She was certain she had seen Haldora for the last time. As she calmed herself down she got up and glanced at the bookshop’s doors. Michael stood by the door looking in. Anna rushed to open the door. She was surprised to see him, after the way she had left earlier in the day. Michael stepped visibly disturbed. He couldn’t take his eyes of the door that led to the apartment.
- Michael! -, Anna called out.
He looked at her for a second.
- What are you doing here?
- I don’t know. I need to talk to her. Where is she?
- She’s upstairs.
Michael started to make his way towards the door.
- She’s going away! -, Anna told him.
He stopped close to the door and turned back to Anna.
- What?
- She’s going… for good!
Michael didn’t really seem to understand the true meaning of those words, but he ran upstairs and Anna followed. The door was not closed. They entered and saw Haldora sitting on the bed meditating. All was silent and both couldn’t bring themselves to disrupt it. They came close to the bed and no sound seemed to take Haldora from her trance. As Michael stretched his hand to touch her pale skin, Haldora stirred, he withdrew his hand.
- Morrigan! -, she called out.
Michael was confused, but Anna was disturbed, she knew the name.
- Morrigan! -, Haldora called out again in higher voice.
Michael looked at Anna for an explanation, but before Anna could formulate a sentence, Haldora interrupted her.
- Morrigan!
A wind began to blow inside the room, it was a hot wind. It came from the fireplace. The flames were higher and soon burst out of the fireplace in a straight line, as the flames withdrew, a form was visible. A woman stood where the flames had stood. Michael and Anna took a step back, but Haldora remained unaffected. The woman smiled at them, when the flames had withdrawn to their original place, though they still burned high.
- It’s the Goddess. -, Anna finally explained, dropping to her knees in an involuntary act. A remembrance of days before.
Michael stood looking at this woman, beautiful as she was. She walked slowly towards Haldora and held out her hand. Haldora’s body remained sitting though her spirit held Morrigan’s hand and left the bed.
- I want my wish. -, Haldora’s spirit.
Morrigan smiled, she already knew her purpose for being there.
- You kept you promise. -, Morrigan confirmed.
- Will you keep yours?
- Name your wish! -, Morrigan requested with a smile.
- Erase my existence. End my life where it ought to have ended.
- No! -, Anna cried.
- Someone doesn’t seem sure of your decision.
- It’s my decision!
Morrigan walked towards Anna, still kneeling down. She touched her shoulder and raised her with a look.
- Would you erase the tears your friend as cried for you? Would you erase her pride in knowing she once helped one less fortunate then herself? Would you erase her sense of duty towards a friend? -, Morrigan asked staring deeply into Anna’s eyes.
Haldora’s spirit gave no answer. Morrigan walked over to Michael and touched his face.
- Would you erase his eyes? His lips? His touch? Would you erase his pleasure from when he first touched you? Would you erase his love? Would you erase the flower he gave you when he thought of you and me? -, Morrigan asked as she looked into his eyes deeply.
Haldora seemed unable to answer, her memory was engaged elsewhere. Michael was there with her. He had stopped looking at Morrigan to look at Haldora’s spirit.
- If that is your wish, I will not honor it! -, Morrigan interrupted the moment.
Haldora’s spirit lowered her head.
- You left your mark where you passed. Nothing can erase that! Not even me! -, Morrigan explained.
- I want to remember you! -, Michael spoke. The women turned their head towards him, - I can’t be with you, but I can’t be without you.
Haldora’s spirit looked to be in agony. She was unable to fix her eyes on anything. They went back and forwards between Michael and Anna, who told all their own agonies through their eyes.
- I’ll give you one more chance! -, Morrigan announced.
Haldora’s spirit asked for nothing in words, but Morrigan nodded as if she had heard a new wish. The agreement was settled. Anna and Michael were frightened, since they had no idea what had been agreed.
- Make your farewells.
Haldora’s spirit glided over to Anna and though unable to touch her, she pressed her lips against her friend’s cheek. Anna felt a warm feeling on her face and smiled through her pain. Haldora’s spirit then glided over to Michael, who immediately tried to hug her, but all he could feel was air between his arms. She touched his face and he pressed his hand exactly where she had laid hers. She pressed her lips against his and for a moment he could feel her as before. He embraced her for a few moments before she became air again. Anna looked to Morrigan, who waited by the fireplace, she was seemed touched with the image and exhibited a slight smile. Haldora glided back to Morrigan. Morrigan took her hand and turned her to the flames. At first Haldora’s spirit was afraid, she knew what flames could do to her, but after a smile from her Goddess trust was restored. Beyond the flames she could seen her lost friends, Otr and her mentor.
- Welcome to the Summerlands. -, Morrigan greeted as she walked through the flames.
Michael and Anna could do nothing but watch their friend and former lover part. They saw the women be engulfed by flames and disappear under a heavy cool wind. As soon as the wind stopped blowing Haldora's body fell back on the bed motionless. Anna walked over to it and touched her hand, motionless… Coldness… Silence… heartache… longing….
- You searched for me… for a long long time. -, he eventually said.
- I’ve love you for a long long time.
- When you said you were a witch I never thought your life was so complex.
She smiled.
- The green lady?
- Hella. She’s … a … Goddess. -, Haldora explained.
- That explains the memories of previous lives. And you came back from the dead to find me?
- I had help.
- I was flattered that you had waited four years to speak to me, I such be proud of this now, right?
- Michael. This changes nothing.
- I beg to differ. I’ve just found out that my girlfriend is… dead and she’s been roaming through time to find me… again and again.
- It means we are meant to be together.
- Does it? -, he asked, leaving Haldora extremely insecure.
She sat on the floor in front of Michael. She touched his legs, but even his woolen clothes could not protect him from the ice-coldness of her skin. He redrew as her touch. She raised her hands and held them to her chest.
- What about… Isabel?
Haldora swallowed dry at the mentioning of the name.
- Hella is a liar! Once she showed me your death. A thousand times I saw you die, in all ways possible and imaginable. It was a lie. An illusion. -, Haldora attempted to explain.
- It’s not. -, he announced, - I was with her and then I had strange dreams with a blonde woman. You were in my dreams. Your dreams made me want to me more adventurous. You gave me dreams of castles and wonders and that’s the life I wanted. Our relationship is the illusion.
- Don’t say that! -, she whispered.
- Hal! Haldora! Every time we meet you are right back to when you were the smithy’s daughter. You are still there and I’m not.
Haldora got up from the floor and walked to the window.
- I’ve learn how to mingle with time, how to understand change and evolution and innovation.
- But I don’t think you’ve changed at all.
Haldora couldn’t answer. She walked around the room understanding that what she had was slipping away from her, by the hand of the person she thought would never do such a thing. She lit a cigarette.
- I didn’t know you smoked. -, he realized.
- I didn’t want you to know. -, she explained.
- It’s a good way to start a relationship, with secrets. -, he joked, though they both were not in the mood to laugh.
- What happens in ten, twenty years? -, he asked as he got up and faced her.
- I redrew form public sight. I change places. -, she explained.
- And what happens to us? -, he asked.
At this question, Haldora was filled with hope as she understood that Michael still saw them together in the future. She smiled lightly.
- You can come with me. Live anywhere. Alone. Secluded.
- Without a care in the world? -, he asked walking towards her.
She nodded as she saw him approach. He stopped when he was very close to her.
- What happens when I die? -, he asked in a half whisper.
- I’ll find you again! I promise. -, she answered back in a half whisper.
- What if I don’t want you to?
- What?
- Would you follow my wish or yours?
- I don’t understand.
- You’re not with me because I want you, you are with me because you want to. –, he explained, - What if I don’t want it anymore?
Haldora couldn’t answer.
- That’s right. I don’t have a saying in it. -, he smiled, - You said it yourself, souls come back to work on their past mistakes. I don’t even get to do that because you’re condemning me to live the same life over and over again. I don’t get to choose anything. It’s not even my life, because you meddled. I have memories of how I thought this girl who took the time to take care of me was sweet. I have the image of the blonde woman standing over me by the light of the fire. This image didn’t leave my mind for the longest of time. And all it took was seeing you by the fire and I remembered it again. I can remember how scared I was when I saw your scar and when you disappeared before our eyes, but afterwards I missed you. I missed talking to you. And to have you in my dreams, I couldn’t forget you though I couldn’t remember you. Can you understand what you did?
She lowered her head understanding that he was right. He raised her chin with his finger.
- It doesn’t mean I didn’t love what we had, but next time I want it to be different.
Haldora discovered at that time that she was unable to shed tears, though her expression appeared as if she would break into tears at any moment. Michael approached and took her in his arms and kissed her. Haldora was unable to return the kiss in all its intensity, because she discovered she had lost her sense of touch a long with everything else. Michael only let go when her coldness became unbearable.
- You should go. -, she whispered as his arms redrew from her body, - It ends now.
Michael was surprised at her resolution. He was prepared for a long debate. Haldora presented a tough expression and seemed unaffected by the kiss, though her insides were revolving. He searched for something to say.
- I didn’t mean for us to… -, he tried to explain, but she interrupted.
- It can’t go on. It’s too much for you to handle, I know. Leave.
For a few moments Michael stood in front of her looking for any break of her countenance, but she did not break. She stood as an unaffected statue, taking slow drags from her cigarette, waiting for him to leave the room.
Al last Michael moved away from her and started his slow route towards the door. She still stood as a statue. He grabbed the door knob and waited for a word or sound. There was none. He twisted it and walked out. As he took every step in grief, Haldora glued herself to the door to hear his last steps out of her life. She sat with her back to the door and there she stood in her silent cry.
Michael went by Anna without saying a word, she attempted to talk, but by the look in his face she could tell that whatever had happen had not been good and she was better off leaving both of them alone.
Hours were passed in silent waiting. Anna was not sure if she should go up to the room and talk to her friend, so she sat down on the sofas waiting to some sort of sign. Unwillingly she fell asleep, as she was tired from the party the previous night.
Haldora made her way downstairs when she felt ready. She passed Anna as if she was made of air, went into her office and sat at her computer typing away like a mad woman. Her face seemed to be made of marble. There was no emotion upon it, only graveness. Since Hella’s visit she was less of human being and more of a shadow of it.
Anna awoke and listened to the typing sound. She watched Haldora from the door, thorn. She wanted to comfort her friend but was unable to perceive if she really needed it. Anna drew on all her patience to wait for a sign from her friend. At long last, since Haldora didn’t ask for help, she forced herself to enter the office and present it whether or not her friend was ready for it. As Anna approached the desk, she got a glimpse of Haldora erasing Michael’s photos. At this point it was a reality, he would not come back. Anna set her hand on Haldora’s shoulder, struggling with herself not to withdraw it as soon as she felt the coldness of the skin. Haldora stopped for a second and the removed Anna’s hand from her shoulder.
- Talk to me. -, Anna requested.
- There is nothing to say! -, Haldora replied.
- As he left you?
- Can you blame him? -, Anna was now certain of the content of their conversation.
- What did he say? -, Haldora gave no answer, - What were his reasons?
- He didn’t need reasons. He had facts.
For a second both women were silent. Anna couldn’t think of anything more to say or ask. Haldora didn’t seem to want any comfort.
- I’ve signed the shop over to you. I’ve sent it to the lawyers and it should be resolved in a day or two.
Upon hearing this Anna pushed Haldora’s chair round so they could face each other.
- You did what? Why the hell would you do that?
- I trust you. I know you’ll take care of the shop and you’ll do great.
- That’s not what I meant. You own this place, why would you give it to me?
- Because I won’t be here to run it.
- Where are you going?
- I don’t know.
- You’re going to disappear?
- Yes, but in a way I’ve never did before.
- You can’t.
- And why not?
- You need to stay and fight this.
- Fight what?
- I don’t know. Fight for Michael.
Haldora took a long pause.
- Anna, you were a great friend before and you lived up to it, but there’s nothing else to do. Michael is gone and soon so will be I.
- What about me? -, Anna asked with tears flooding her eyes.
- I would love to stay here with you, forever. But that’s not possible. Forever is not possible.
- Hal, where will you go? -, Anna asked again in fright.
- I don’t know. It’s out of my control.
Haldora turned to her computer and Anna began to understand that her friend was talking about something more permanent then a journey to a new location.
- Will we ever meet again?
Haldora stopped her typing again. She rose from her chair and held her friend without providing an answer. Anna confirmed her suspicions.
- You’re going away for good, aren’t you? -, Anna asked as soon as the embrace was over and there was still no answer, - Answer me! -, she ordered unable to hold her tears any longer.
- In this world, we will never meet again. -, Haldora calmly answered.
- You can’t do this.
Haldora sat down and continued to erase Michael’s photos and all other remembrances of her stay. Anna cried beside her and it did not seem to affect her. When she was done, she got up and kissed her friend on the forehead and slowly made her way towards her apartment. Anna followed her as far as the downstairs door, but she was unable to go any further. She leant against the door as Haldora close it behind her.
Anna sat on the floor crying for her friend unable to think of a way to stop her. For the longest time she sat in fear of what would be going on above. She was certain she had seen Haldora for the last time. As she calmed herself down she got up and glanced at the bookshop’s doors. Michael stood by the door looking in. Anna rushed to open the door. She was surprised to see him, after the way she had left earlier in the day. Michael stepped visibly disturbed. He couldn’t take his eyes of the door that led to the apartment.
- Michael! -, Anna called out.
He looked at her for a second.
- What are you doing here?
- I don’t know. I need to talk to her. Where is she?
- She’s upstairs.
Michael started to make his way towards the door.
- She’s going away! -, Anna told him.
He stopped close to the door and turned back to Anna.
- What?
- She’s going… for good!
Michael didn’t really seem to understand the true meaning of those words, but he ran upstairs and Anna followed. The door was not closed. They entered and saw Haldora sitting on the bed meditating. All was silent and both couldn’t bring themselves to disrupt it. They came close to the bed and no sound seemed to take Haldora from her trance. As Michael stretched his hand to touch her pale skin, Haldora stirred, he withdrew his hand.
- Morrigan! -, she called out.
Michael was confused, but Anna was disturbed, she knew the name.
- Morrigan! -, Haldora called out again in higher voice.
Michael looked at Anna for an explanation, but before Anna could formulate a sentence, Haldora interrupted her.
- Morrigan!
A wind began to blow inside the room, it was a hot wind. It came from the fireplace. The flames were higher and soon burst out of the fireplace in a straight line, as the flames withdrew, a form was visible. A woman stood where the flames had stood. Michael and Anna took a step back, but Haldora remained unaffected. The woman smiled at them, when the flames had withdrawn to their original place, though they still burned high.
- It’s the Goddess. -, Anna finally explained, dropping to her knees in an involuntary act. A remembrance of days before.
Michael stood looking at this woman, beautiful as she was. She walked slowly towards Haldora and held out her hand. Haldora’s body remained sitting though her spirit held Morrigan’s hand and left the bed.
- I want my wish. -, Haldora’s spirit.
Morrigan smiled, she already knew her purpose for being there.
- You kept you promise. -, Morrigan confirmed.
- Will you keep yours?
- Name your wish! -, Morrigan requested with a smile.
- Erase my existence. End my life where it ought to have ended.
- No! -, Anna cried.
- Someone doesn’t seem sure of your decision.
- It’s my decision!
Morrigan walked towards Anna, still kneeling down. She touched her shoulder and raised her with a look.
- Would you erase the tears your friend as cried for you? Would you erase her pride in knowing she once helped one less fortunate then herself? Would you erase her sense of duty towards a friend? -, Morrigan asked staring deeply into Anna’s eyes.
Haldora’s spirit gave no answer. Morrigan walked over to Michael and touched his face.
- Would you erase his eyes? His lips? His touch? Would you erase his pleasure from when he first touched you? Would you erase his love? Would you erase the flower he gave you when he thought of you and me? -, Morrigan asked as she looked into his eyes deeply.
Haldora seemed unable to answer, her memory was engaged elsewhere. Michael was there with her. He had stopped looking at Morrigan to look at Haldora’s spirit.
- If that is your wish, I will not honor it! -, Morrigan interrupted the moment.
Haldora’s spirit lowered her head.
- You left your mark where you passed. Nothing can erase that! Not even me! -, Morrigan explained.
- I want to remember you! -, Michael spoke. The women turned their head towards him, - I can’t be with you, but I can’t be without you.
Haldora’s spirit looked to be in agony. She was unable to fix her eyes on anything. They went back and forwards between Michael and Anna, who told all their own agonies through their eyes.
- I’ll give you one more chance! -, Morrigan announced.
Haldora’s spirit asked for nothing in words, but Morrigan nodded as if she had heard a new wish. The agreement was settled. Anna and Michael were frightened, since they had no idea what had been agreed.
- Make your farewells.
Haldora’s spirit glided over to Anna and though unable to touch her, she pressed her lips against her friend’s cheek. Anna felt a warm feeling on her face and smiled through her pain. Haldora’s spirit then glided over to Michael, who immediately tried to hug her, but all he could feel was air between his arms. She touched his face and he pressed his hand exactly where she had laid hers. She pressed her lips against his and for a moment he could feel her as before. He embraced her for a few moments before she became air again. Anna looked to Morrigan, who waited by the fireplace, she was seemed touched with the image and exhibited a slight smile. Haldora glided back to Morrigan. Morrigan took her hand and turned her to the flames. At first Haldora’s spirit was afraid, she knew what flames could do to her, but after a smile from her Goddess trust was restored. Beyond the flames she could seen her lost friends, Otr and her mentor.
- Welcome to the Summerlands. -, Morrigan greeted as she walked through the flames.
Michael and Anna could do nothing but watch their friend and former lover part. They saw the women be engulfed by flames and disappear under a heavy cool wind. As soon as the wind stopped blowing Haldora's body fell back on the bed motionless. Anna walked over to it and touched her hand, motionless… Coldness… Silence… heartache… longing….
CHAPTER XXVII
CHAPTER XXVII
Anna peaked inside Haldora’s room, waiting to see the remains of a night of love making, but instead she was confronted with her friend unconscious against a wall. Anna rushed into the room, not noticing Michael’s body on the bed, running directly to Haldora and attempting to wake her. Haldora awoke with a slap or two. She seemed frightened. Anna was contaminated by this fright. Haldora rose from the floor immediately and realized her lover still slept. She was somewhat relieved. She stood in the middle of the room motionless, looking at the fire, attempting to understand what had happen. She was so involved in her own thoughts that she was unable to hear her friend asking repeatedly what had happen. Anna finally was forced to hold her friend by the arms and shake her till she was out of her trance like state.
- What happened? -, Anna asked.
- Hella! -, Haldora uttered.
Anna let go of her friend and took a step back, remembering of who Haldora spoke of.
- Hella?
- You called?
Anna and Haldora looked to the fire place to see Hella coming out of the flames. She walked towards the women, kicking her green dress open with every step and showing off her putrid legs, allowing her stench to fill the room.
- It’s you! The witch! I should be angry at you, but look at you became. I’ve forgotten it!
Haldora stared at her with the same fear she had so many years ago. Her braveness of before was all but gone.
- Yes, one can forget, but forgotten things have a tendency to sprung up when you least expect them. -, Hella announced looking at Haldora.
- If it’s me you want, take me and leave them alone. -, Haldora ordered as she rose from the floor.
Hella let go one of her known horrible laughs.
- I don’t want you. I want him… -, Hella explained as she looked at Michael’s body still lying sleeping on the bed.
Haldora tried to move towards Hella, but Anna took her arm and the burning warmth of her touch stopped Haldora from moving.
- Hal. You’re freezing. -, Anna realized.
- You took it! -, she whispered, - Otr gave me warmth, before we parted. You took it.
- The Gods giveth, the Gods taketh away! -, Hella put it simply, - But you didn’t let me finish! I want him to remember.
Haldora was confused upon hearing these words. But there was no time to interpret her words because Michael began to wake. She ran to his side, smiling as he awoke. He looked at her as if for the first time. Immediately Haldora knew that something was wrong. He got up from the bed and looked around the room, trying to recognize it. The only thing he seemed capable of recognizing was Hella. He took another look at Haldora, who sat at the edge of the bed.
- I knew you before. -, he said Haldora tried to speak but before she could utter a word he continued, - I knew you from before we ever met. I’d seen you. We have spoken before.
Haldora smiled pretending she thought it was a joke, but his expression remained unchanged. Anna remained frozen at his words.
- I came from the South. Your people didn’t want to accept me because I’d change my name to a Christian name. I helped your people during the war. You were the smithy’s daughter.
At this revelation Haldora dropped her pretending and became amazed at what he seemed to know. She nodded without having complete control over her actions.
- There were months of negotiating before the war. I stayed at the village. And I was attended by you. You’d come in the night and mend my clothes, keep my fire high, fix my shoes, even sharpen my sword and axe.
- You knew? -, Anna asked before Haldora could.
- Yes! I’d pretend to sleep.
- And said nothing? -, Hella finally asked.
- I should have.
Haldora was amazed as to what he could remember.
- I was late to tell you… to talk to you. You were already gone to battle. Then you were gone. -, Haldora walked over to Michael, touching his face, - I just wanted to be where you were. To be with you. -, she explained.
Michael was unaffected. He looked at her as if she was only someone he knew and not a person with whom he had spent long hours with.
- I should have spoken to you. I should have prevented you from coming back. I had someone waiting from me in the South and it wasn’t fair to let you continue as you did.
Haldora was surprised at his revelation. She could not bring herself to answer him. In her stead Hella smiled, the whole scene diverted her immensely.
He suddenly grabbed his head, feeling a violent headache, he walked away from Haldora leaving her and Anna more frightened as to what was to come.
- You were with the white men. -, he then said, - My son saw you.
- Your son? -, Anna asked.
- When the Viking invaded they killed him, leaving his son and his unborn child orphans. -, Haldora explained, - I saw it in a vision.
- I could feel something there in my house. -, Michael whispered.
Michael held his right shoulder in agony, breathing through pain. Anna came closer to Haldora.
- His going through his lives. He’s half here and half there. -, she explained, - Why are you doing this?
- It was you who saved me. -, Michael said, Haldora nodded.
- And you saved me. -, she announced, - Kept me from being killed.
- I knew that sent. –, he explained.
Haldora smiled as she nodded confirming her suspicions. Michael began to breathe deeper and look at her in disgust. Her smile faded, she came nearer to him and he redrew from her.
- Don’t come near me. -, he shouted, - Stay back you hellish creature.
- Michael! Please look at me. -, she asked as he tried to take cover, - Michael, remember me.
- What does he think you are? -, Anna asked.
- He was my translator during the Inquisition. He saw my scar.
- The scar! -, Michael repeated, - from the axe. But you died!
Haldora looked at Hella in anger.
- Get out of my head! -, he shouted grabbing his head and shaking it violently, - Get out of my dreams.
Haldora walked towards him, she took Michael’s arms in her hands and with her heavy grip settled him down. He looked at her in fright.
- You’re cold. You’re so cold! -, he whispered.
- Michael, remember yesterday! -, she urged him.
But he didn’t seem to leave his trance like state. He seemed more afraid of Haldora, then of Hella.
- Stop this! -, she ordered Hella.
- I wish I could! But your Druid friends must have explained it to you, once you set something in motion, there’s no way of stopping it. -, she explained, - He’s telling you what you wanted to know. The second half of your story.
Anna began to move slowly behind Hella towards the garden door, but before she could pass the fire place, Hella’s hand was on her throat.
- Where are you going, my dear? You don’t want to make me angry a second time, do you?
Anna stepped back unwillingly. Hella walked over to Michael. She took him by the arm and held him as if he were a child. Haldora was revolted at the image. Hella stroke his hair.
- My dear child, shall we show your friend who your heart has belonged too all this time? -, she asked in a soft voice, Haldora has never heard before.
Michael made no answer, he seemed to be hypnotized.
A green mist came from the fireplace and filled the room, within it they could see images forming. Haldora looked attentively. She could see her warrior leave another village and leave a woman behind, with a kiss. She could see him, in his farmer’s life, courting his pregnant wife and the woman was the same. She could see all his lives and in all of them there was the same woman, married to him, in love with him, bearing his children. Standing with him in his tough moments. And the worse part of what she saw was that she knew who this person was, she had seen her before. Haldora was unable to formulate the word.
- She’s in his pictures. -, Anna realized.
- She as his girlfriend. -, Haldora explained.
Hella let go of Michael and began to walk back to the fire place. Haldora was frozen, Anna was amazed and Michael seemed to sleep. Hella approached the fire.
- I’ll leave you in that note. -, she said before she entered through the flames and disappeared.
Michael took a deep breath and seem to awake. He looked at Haldora confused. Haldora was afraid.
- Anna, will you leave us alone? -, Michael requested.
Anna nodded and walked slowly out of the room, looking back at the two lovers once or twice, before closing the door. She was wondering what would happen between them.
Statues… Confusion… Fright…
Anna peaked inside Haldora’s room, waiting to see the remains of a night of love making, but instead she was confronted with her friend unconscious against a wall. Anna rushed into the room, not noticing Michael’s body on the bed, running directly to Haldora and attempting to wake her. Haldora awoke with a slap or two. She seemed frightened. Anna was contaminated by this fright. Haldora rose from the floor immediately and realized her lover still slept. She was somewhat relieved. She stood in the middle of the room motionless, looking at the fire, attempting to understand what had happen. She was so involved in her own thoughts that she was unable to hear her friend asking repeatedly what had happen. Anna finally was forced to hold her friend by the arms and shake her till she was out of her trance like state.
- What happened? -, Anna asked.
- Hella! -, Haldora uttered.
Anna let go of her friend and took a step back, remembering of who Haldora spoke of.
- Hella?
- You called?
Anna and Haldora looked to the fire place to see Hella coming out of the flames. She walked towards the women, kicking her green dress open with every step and showing off her putrid legs, allowing her stench to fill the room.
- It’s you! The witch! I should be angry at you, but look at you became. I’ve forgotten it!
Haldora stared at her with the same fear she had so many years ago. Her braveness of before was all but gone.
- Yes, one can forget, but forgotten things have a tendency to sprung up when you least expect them. -, Hella announced looking at Haldora.
- If it’s me you want, take me and leave them alone. -, Haldora ordered as she rose from the floor.
Hella let go one of her known horrible laughs.
- I don’t want you. I want him… -, Hella explained as she looked at Michael’s body still lying sleeping on the bed.
Haldora tried to move towards Hella, but Anna took her arm and the burning warmth of her touch stopped Haldora from moving.
- Hal. You’re freezing. -, Anna realized.
- You took it! -, she whispered, - Otr gave me warmth, before we parted. You took it.
- The Gods giveth, the Gods taketh away! -, Hella put it simply, - But you didn’t let me finish! I want him to remember.
Haldora was confused upon hearing these words. But there was no time to interpret her words because Michael began to wake. She ran to his side, smiling as he awoke. He looked at her as if for the first time. Immediately Haldora knew that something was wrong. He got up from the bed and looked around the room, trying to recognize it. The only thing he seemed capable of recognizing was Hella. He took another look at Haldora, who sat at the edge of the bed.
- I knew you before. -, he said Haldora tried to speak but before she could utter a word he continued, - I knew you from before we ever met. I’d seen you. We have spoken before.
Haldora smiled pretending she thought it was a joke, but his expression remained unchanged. Anna remained frozen at his words.
- I came from the South. Your people didn’t want to accept me because I’d change my name to a Christian name. I helped your people during the war. You were the smithy’s daughter.
At this revelation Haldora dropped her pretending and became amazed at what he seemed to know. She nodded without having complete control over her actions.
- There were months of negotiating before the war. I stayed at the village. And I was attended by you. You’d come in the night and mend my clothes, keep my fire high, fix my shoes, even sharpen my sword and axe.
- You knew? -, Anna asked before Haldora could.
- Yes! I’d pretend to sleep.
- And said nothing? -, Hella finally asked.
- I should have.
Haldora was amazed as to what he could remember.
- I was late to tell you… to talk to you. You were already gone to battle. Then you were gone. -, Haldora walked over to Michael, touching his face, - I just wanted to be where you were. To be with you. -, she explained.
Michael was unaffected. He looked at her as if she was only someone he knew and not a person with whom he had spent long hours with.
- I should have spoken to you. I should have prevented you from coming back. I had someone waiting from me in the South and it wasn’t fair to let you continue as you did.
Haldora was surprised at his revelation. She could not bring herself to answer him. In her stead Hella smiled, the whole scene diverted her immensely.
He suddenly grabbed his head, feeling a violent headache, he walked away from Haldora leaving her and Anna more frightened as to what was to come.
- You were with the white men. -, he then said, - My son saw you.
- Your son? -, Anna asked.
- When the Viking invaded they killed him, leaving his son and his unborn child orphans. -, Haldora explained, - I saw it in a vision.
- I could feel something there in my house. -, Michael whispered.
Michael held his right shoulder in agony, breathing through pain. Anna came closer to Haldora.
- His going through his lives. He’s half here and half there. -, she explained, - Why are you doing this?
- It was you who saved me. -, Michael said, Haldora nodded.
- And you saved me. -, she announced, - Kept me from being killed.
- I knew that sent. –, he explained.
Haldora smiled as she nodded confirming her suspicions. Michael began to breathe deeper and look at her in disgust. Her smile faded, she came nearer to him and he redrew from her.
- Don’t come near me. -, he shouted, - Stay back you hellish creature.
- Michael! Please look at me. -, she asked as he tried to take cover, - Michael, remember me.
- What does he think you are? -, Anna asked.
- He was my translator during the Inquisition. He saw my scar.
- The scar! -, Michael repeated, - from the axe. But you died!
Haldora looked at Hella in anger.
- Get out of my head! -, he shouted grabbing his head and shaking it violently, - Get out of my dreams.
Haldora walked towards him, she took Michael’s arms in her hands and with her heavy grip settled him down. He looked at her in fright.
- You’re cold. You’re so cold! -, he whispered.
- Michael, remember yesterday! -, she urged him.
But he didn’t seem to leave his trance like state. He seemed more afraid of Haldora, then of Hella.
- Stop this! -, she ordered Hella.
- I wish I could! But your Druid friends must have explained it to you, once you set something in motion, there’s no way of stopping it. -, she explained, - He’s telling you what you wanted to know. The second half of your story.
Anna began to move slowly behind Hella towards the garden door, but before she could pass the fire place, Hella’s hand was on her throat.
- Where are you going, my dear? You don’t want to make me angry a second time, do you?
Anna stepped back unwillingly. Hella walked over to Michael. She took him by the arm and held him as if he were a child. Haldora was revolted at the image. Hella stroke his hair.
- My dear child, shall we show your friend who your heart has belonged too all this time? -, she asked in a soft voice, Haldora has never heard before.
Michael made no answer, he seemed to be hypnotized.
A green mist came from the fireplace and filled the room, within it they could see images forming. Haldora looked attentively. She could see her warrior leave another village and leave a woman behind, with a kiss. She could see him, in his farmer’s life, courting his pregnant wife and the woman was the same. She could see all his lives and in all of them there was the same woman, married to him, in love with him, bearing his children. Standing with him in his tough moments. And the worse part of what she saw was that she knew who this person was, she had seen her before. Haldora was unable to formulate the word.
- She’s in his pictures. -, Anna realized.
- She as his girlfriend. -, Haldora explained.
Hella let go of Michael and began to walk back to the fire place. Haldora was frozen, Anna was amazed and Michael seemed to sleep. Hella approached the fire.
- I’ll leave you in that note. -, she said before she entered through the flames and disappeared.
Michael took a deep breath and seem to awake. He looked at Haldora confused. Haldora was afraid.
- Anna, will you leave us alone? -, Michael requested.
Anna nodded and walked slowly out of the room, looking back at the two lovers once or twice, before closing the door. She was wondering what would happen between them.
Statues… Confusion… Fright…
CHAPTER XXVI
CHAPTER XXVI
It was unspoken but agreed that every day Michael would come to Haldora’s and stay with her for a while or the whole night. They would either talk for hours or just lay together in silence or take one another in each other’s arms and love each other throughout the night. On one such night, laying in front of the fire and exhausted from making love. Michael laid on Haldora’s back, kissing her shoulders as she explained how there was a ritual that involved love making and how it was very beautiful to think of it.
- Does that mean one can’t shake and shimmy all night long as one wishes; you would have to stop for a bunch of ritualistic stuff? -, he asked after hearing the explanation.
- You don’t stop to do the ritualistic stuff. You do it at the end. They just believe you’re going to do it once. -, she explained.
- I don’t want a bunch of witches to tell me how often I can make love to my girl!
- So I can’t tell you what to do?
- You’re the only witch who can.
Michael slid his legs in between hers, spreading them, while he kissed her neck.
- You hex me and make me freeze like a rock, just like my car used to do whenever we were in the middle of nowhere.
- Old red? -, she asked surrendering to his caresses.
Michael stopped kissing her.
- How do you know I had a red car? -, he asked leaving her frightened of the answer.
Michael rolled to the side and held his body with his elbow, waiting an answer. Haldora looked visibly troubled.
- Hal? How did you know?
- I’m afraid to tell you. -, she answered.
Michael reached for his pants and put them on. He sat down in the sofa, while she reached for his shirt and put it on. She sat on the floor with the fire lighting her back. He stared at her in fear of what she had to say.
- I know you had a red car because… that’s what you drove when I first noticed it you right outside that window. -, she explained point to the window.
Michael looked back to it. He got up and walked over to it. He could see the bus stop. She got up and walked over to the window.
- I could see you park your car over there and then walk over here and wait. I would sit here and watch you. -, she explained.
Michael looked confused and frightened.
- I sold that car four years ago. You’ve watch me for four years? -, Haldora nodded shyly, - Four years?
- I was attracted to you but I’m not the kind of person to make moves. I would form plans to get to know you, but never followed through. Then the days stretched into weeks, weeks to months and then years. -, she explained.
- And then you met me online? -, Haldora gave no answer right away denouncing an ulterior motive, - You didn’t just meet me, right?
- I searched you out! –, she admitted.
Michael walked away from the window and sat on the bed with his head in between his hands. Haldora remained by the window looking at him, dreading his reaction.
- Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was before, when you chatted online?
- The internet was anonymous enough, so I could… get to know you. I never meant for us to meet. I just didn’t know how to tell you that I had seen you without sounding like a stocker.
Michael didn’t raise his head and Haldora had no idea of what his feelings were.
- Are you alright?
- Give me a minute to process all this.
Haldora walked back to the sofa, as she was passing the bed, Michael got up and grabbed her arm. Haldora was frightened by the gesture, but his expression was not of anger.
- You watched me for four years and you searched me online for God knows how long and when you found me… what did you feel?
- I was happy, even more so when we started to chat. I felt excited to hear from you.
- And yet… you were content with just being a friend? And you were worried I was cheating. You just waited.
- I never anticipated it would come to this.
- But it did. You got your wish and I got a great girl.
Haldora lowered her eyes in embarrassment, with his index he raised her chin so that their eyes could meet.
- Once you think about it… it’s kind of romantic, in a psychotic kind of way.
Haldora laughed at his statement. He let go of her arm and held her face between his hands. He pecked her lips. She smiled holding him as strong as she could, so strong in fact that Michael was uncomfortable by the grip, but said nothing. They held for as long as Michael could stand Haldora’s strong grip. He unlocked himself from the embrace and pulled her to lay in the bed with him. She snuggled against him, laying her head on his shoulder.
- So are you going to tell me what made you watch me for so long?
- No!
- Come on. Boost my ego a bit. It’s flattering to know some one took so an interest for so long.
- Never! -, she said in a teasing tone.
- Please!
Haldora was silence, relieved at his reaction to one of her secrets. The only one he could ever know. She lied throughout the night, even after Michael had fallen a sleep, just watching his chest move with each breath and breathing deeply of relief.
The Sun brought with it Halloween. And it was very high in the sky when Michael awoke. Haldora was quick to make Michael leave her alone, as soon as he got up. She needed time to prepare if she was going to perform her ritual and make it to the party. They agreed he would come back at night to dress his warrior armor.
Haldora locked herself out on her garden and began her preparations with care. She took the herbs she needed and the utensils she would use and the supplies she had bought before in the magic shop. The afternoon was passed with Haldora carefully laying each object in it’s perfect position, after drawing a circle of rock salt on the floor, around her altar. It’s was dusk when she was ready to dress her white robe and enter her circle. Haldora greeted each of the Towers associated to which cardinal point, by lighting a candle to them, and then began to greet the spirits of goodness that came to her. She could hear them, he could speak to them and now they were not at all scary. The ritual took a long time. She had requests and blessings to undertake, and most important of all she had to keep the bad spirits away from this world. As she did the ritual she thought of her mentor, long ascended and of Otr, once her only friend. Both were no longer part of the spirit world, there were someplace she could not reach, but she could still feel them and the gifts they had given her. When it was over she didn’t take so long to dispose of the objects of the altar as she did setting them up. She took everything and laid it to the fire. She watched the candles melt and the herbs burn, leaving their sweet aroma in the air. Only after all we burned did she disrobed. She was now ready for her first party, since her death.
Haldora brought the armor and the dress to her room. She laid them both on the bed and enjoyed a long soothing bath until Michael tapped on the shop’s glass to announce his arrival. Haldora greeted him, wrapped in a towel and took him quickly upstairs before someone saw her in such composure.
- Are you gift-wrapped? -, Michael teased as they went upstairs.
- No, I was in the bath. There’s your costume. You want to star putting it on now, it takes a while.
Haldora left Michael alone with the armor as she went into the bathroom, carrying her dress. Michael struggled for a while, what to dress first. Haldora dressed too quickly for a normal person and braded her hair as she had not done in too long. She left the bathroom, to find Michael still at odds with his costume. He stopped to marvel on how beautiful she looked in her blue velvet dress and her new hair style.
- Valquiria! -, he called her.
- Haldora! -, she corrected.
She came close to him and helped him to dress the tunic and woolen pants and gloves, then laid the metal coat, than was heavy on his shoulders. She tightens his belt and the leg chaps. He was ready to go; all that was missing was the helmet.
- Come, sit. -, she asked. He sat on the bed and she started to brace his hair in the fashion of the time. In that moment she felt as she longed to feel back on those days, when she long to tell her warrior she was in love with him. If they had married she would perform these exact movements for him, before he would go for battle. As she remembered the battles in her village, she was suddenly surrounded by sadness, as she remembered her warrior’s tragic death and her own.
Finally he was ready. Michael got up and took a long look at himself. He was amazed how well the armor had fit. Haldora rose from the bed and tied the sword to his belt and set his helmet on his head.
- It’s dark in here! -, he joked.
The helmet covered the whole of his face. There was a metal coat hanging from the underneath the eyes. Haldora lifted the metal coat and kissed his lips gently.
- You’re ready for battle, my love. -, she whispered.
- Ready my horse, woman! -, he joked. Haldora laughed, - And speaking of horse I don’t think I can drive in this.
- We can walk over. It’s not that far.
They were off on their way. The Viking warrior and his lady. On the streets they met with many others who also had dressed up for Halloween. There were scary monsters and cute outfits, people missing limbs and with swords or knives stuck on various parts of the body. Haldora could see spirits mingling with the living. Many or just long departed relatives, coming to check up on the ones who stayed, but some were the naughty spirits, enticing people to commit the craziest deeds.
The party was already in full throttle, when Haldora and Michael arrived. Anna came to meet them by the door.
- Anna, you’re a fairy.
- Yeah, I wanted to dress as a witch, but I kind thought you wouldn’t like it! -, she explained.
- Good call! -, Michael spoke from personal experience.
- You guys look great! So life-like! -, she noticed, as she looked at Haldora to show she knew the costumes. Haldora just smiled. – The Viking and his Lady, cool!
- Thanks, it was Hal’s idea! Or should I say Haldora’s? -, he asked and Anna looked at amazed at the fact that he knew her really name.
-Well, the bar is in the back and the rest is up to you, mingle and have fun.
Anna walked away to speak to other friends. Haldora and Michael walked through the party, admiring the many costumes.
- Do Viking warrior’s dance? -, Michael asked.
- They did in my day!
He took off his helmet and led her to the dance floor, where he held her close and swayed smoothly, though it was not that kind of music that played. Haldora snuggled within his embrace to get as close as she could to his body. She could feel his heartbeat on her cheek. It played the melody to which they danced.
Anna watched the couple throughout the night. She was happy to see they poured happiness towards each other. They danced and drank and spoke to no one else but themselves. They were separated from the rest of the world, focused only on each other. Anna couldn’t remember when she had ever since her friend bare such a smile. She could recollect all of Haldora’s life and it had always been one of suffering and hiding, but now she was among people again and looked to be as happy as ever. Michael played an important part in her happiness, because of it, she wouldn’t let go of his hand throughout the entire night.
The time came when tiredness took over Michael and he removed himself and Haldora from the party as discretely as possible, so discretely in fact, Anna did not notice until they were gone a while. The way back home was made in record time. Michael held his lady close as they walked through the now silent streets. He was in a hurry to get home, though his breath and blush denounced his tiredness. Haldora remained tireless as always.
Finally inside Michael threw himself to the bed, feeling the pain of the metal against his flesh. He let go a slight yelp.
- Besides being heavy as hell, this thing hurts. -, he complaint.
- Let me help you out of it.
Michael rose from the bed and allowed Haldora to remove the items of metal, till he only dressed the woolen garments. As soon as he felt free he kissed his lady on the cheek, she looked at him surprised.
- Thanks for a lovely evening. -, they held, - How does a Viking warrior make love? -, he whispered to her hear.
- Quickly! -, she answered, - Scandinavia is a cold place.
As they unlocked from their embrace an aroma flared Haldora’s nostrils, it was a scent she could recognize but was unwilling to acknowledge. Michael seemed unaware of it. Haldora looked at the fire and was forced to admit to herself what she already knew to be true. The fire had turned green. Before Haldora could form another thought, she felt Michael slip from her arms to the bed in a sound sleep. She tried to touch him to awake him, but before she could move, she felt her body fly across the room and hit the wall behind her, loosing consciousness…
It was unspoken but agreed that every day Michael would come to Haldora’s and stay with her for a while or the whole night. They would either talk for hours or just lay together in silence or take one another in each other’s arms and love each other throughout the night. On one such night, laying in front of the fire and exhausted from making love. Michael laid on Haldora’s back, kissing her shoulders as she explained how there was a ritual that involved love making and how it was very beautiful to think of it.
- Does that mean one can’t shake and shimmy all night long as one wishes; you would have to stop for a bunch of ritualistic stuff? -, he asked after hearing the explanation.
- You don’t stop to do the ritualistic stuff. You do it at the end. They just believe you’re going to do it once. -, she explained.
- I don’t want a bunch of witches to tell me how often I can make love to my girl!
- So I can’t tell you what to do?
- You’re the only witch who can.
Michael slid his legs in between hers, spreading them, while he kissed her neck.
- You hex me and make me freeze like a rock, just like my car used to do whenever we were in the middle of nowhere.
- Old red? -, she asked surrendering to his caresses.
Michael stopped kissing her.
- How do you know I had a red car? -, he asked leaving her frightened of the answer.
Michael rolled to the side and held his body with his elbow, waiting an answer. Haldora looked visibly troubled.
- Hal? How did you know?
- I’m afraid to tell you. -, she answered.
Michael reached for his pants and put them on. He sat down in the sofa, while she reached for his shirt and put it on. She sat on the floor with the fire lighting her back. He stared at her in fear of what she had to say.
- I know you had a red car because… that’s what you drove when I first noticed it you right outside that window. -, she explained point to the window.
Michael looked back to it. He got up and walked over to it. He could see the bus stop. She got up and walked over to the window.
- I could see you park your car over there and then walk over here and wait. I would sit here and watch you. -, she explained.
Michael looked confused and frightened.
- I sold that car four years ago. You’ve watch me for four years? -, Haldora nodded shyly, - Four years?
- I was attracted to you but I’m not the kind of person to make moves. I would form plans to get to know you, but never followed through. Then the days stretched into weeks, weeks to months and then years. -, she explained.
- And then you met me online? -, Haldora gave no answer right away denouncing an ulterior motive, - You didn’t just meet me, right?
- I searched you out! –, she admitted.
Michael walked away from the window and sat on the bed with his head in between his hands. Haldora remained by the window looking at him, dreading his reaction.
- Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was before, when you chatted online?
- The internet was anonymous enough, so I could… get to know you. I never meant for us to meet. I just didn’t know how to tell you that I had seen you without sounding like a stocker.
Michael didn’t raise his head and Haldora had no idea of what his feelings were.
- Are you alright?
- Give me a minute to process all this.
Haldora walked back to the sofa, as she was passing the bed, Michael got up and grabbed her arm. Haldora was frightened by the gesture, but his expression was not of anger.
- You watched me for four years and you searched me online for God knows how long and when you found me… what did you feel?
- I was happy, even more so when we started to chat. I felt excited to hear from you.
- And yet… you were content with just being a friend? And you were worried I was cheating. You just waited.
- I never anticipated it would come to this.
- But it did. You got your wish and I got a great girl.
Haldora lowered her eyes in embarrassment, with his index he raised her chin so that their eyes could meet.
- Once you think about it… it’s kind of romantic, in a psychotic kind of way.
Haldora laughed at his statement. He let go of her arm and held her face between his hands. He pecked her lips. She smiled holding him as strong as she could, so strong in fact that Michael was uncomfortable by the grip, but said nothing. They held for as long as Michael could stand Haldora’s strong grip. He unlocked himself from the embrace and pulled her to lay in the bed with him. She snuggled against him, laying her head on his shoulder.
- So are you going to tell me what made you watch me for so long?
- No!
- Come on. Boost my ego a bit. It’s flattering to know some one took so an interest for so long.
- Never! -, she said in a teasing tone.
- Please!
Haldora was silence, relieved at his reaction to one of her secrets. The only one he could ever know. She lied throughout the night, even after Michael had fallen a sleep, just watching his chest move with each breath and breathing deeply of relief.
The Sun brought with it Halloween. And it was very high in the sky when Michael awoke. Haldora was quick to make Michael leave her alone, as soon as he got up. She needed time to prepare if she was going to perform her ritual and make it to the party. They agreed he would come back at night to dress his warrior armor.
Haldora locked herself out on her garden and began her preparations with care. She took the herbs she needed and the utensils she would use and the supplies she had bought before in the magic shop. The afternoon was passed with Haldora carefully laying each object in it’s perfect position, after drawing a circle of rock salt on the floor, around her altar. It’s was dusk when she was ready to dress her white robe and enter her circle. Haldora greeted each of the Towers associated to which cardinal point, by lighting a candle to them, and then began to greet the spirits of goodness that came to her. She could hear them, he could speak to them and now they were not at all scary. The ritual took a long time. She had requests and blessings to undertake, and most important of all she had to keep the bad spirits away from this world. As she did the ritual she thought of her mentor, long ascended and of Otr, once her only friend. Both were no longer part of the spirit world, there were someplace she could not reach, but she could still feel them and the gifts they had given her. When it was over she didn’t take so long to dispose of the objects of the altar as she did setting them up. She took everything and laid it to the fire. She watched the candles melt and the herbs burn, leaving their sweet aroma in the air. Only after all we burned did she disrobed. She was now ready for her first party, since her death.
Haldora brought the armor and the dress to her room. She laid them both on the bed and enjoyed a long soothing bath until Michael tapped on the shop’s glass to announce his arrival. Haldora greeted him, wrapped in a towel and took him quickly upstairs before someone saw her in such composure.
- Are you gift-wrapped? -, Michael teased as they went upstairs.
- No, I was in the bath. There’s your costume. You want to star putting it on now, it takes a while.
Haldora left Michael alone with the armor as she went into the bathroom, carrying her dress. Michael struggled for a while, what to dress first. Haldora dressed too quickly for a normal person and braded her hair as she had not done in too long. She left the bathroom, to find Michael still at odds with his costume. He stopped to marvel on how beautiful she looked in her blue velvet dress and her new hair style.
- Valquiria! -, he called her.
- Haldora! -, she corrected.
She came close to him and helped him to dress the tunic and woolen pants and gloves, then laid the metal coat, than was heavy on his shoulders. She tightens his belt and the leg chaps. He was ready to go; all that was missing was the helmet.
- Come, sit. -, she asked. He sat on the bed and she started to brace his hair in the fashion of the time. In that moment she felt as she longed to feel back on those days, when she long to tell her warrior she was in love with him. If they had married she would perform these exact movements for him, before he would go for battle. As she remembered the battles in her village, she was suddenly surrounded by sadness, as she remembered her warrior’s tragic death and her own.
Finally he was ready. Michael got up and took a long look at himself. He was amazed how well the armor had fit. Haldora rose from the bed and tied the sword to his belt and set his helmet on his head.
- It’s dark in here! -, he joked.
The helmet covered the whole of his face. There was a metal coat hanging from the underneath the eyes. Haldora lifted the metal coat and kissed his lips gently.
- You’re ready for battle, my love. -, she whispered.
- Ready my horse, woman! -, he joked. Haldora laughed, - And speaking of horse I don’t think I can drive in this.
- We can walk over. It’s not that far.
They were off on their way. The Viking warrior and his lady. On the streets they met with many others who also had dressed up for Halloween. There were scary monsters and cute outfits, people missing limbs and with swords or knives stuck on various parts of the body. Haldora could see spirits mingling with the living. Many or just long departed relatives, coming to check up on the ones who stayed, but some were the naughty spirits, enticing people to commit the craziest deeds.
The party was already in full throttle, when Haldora and Michael arrived. Anna came to meet them by the door.
- Anna, you’re a fairy.
- Yeah, I wanted to dress as a witch, but I kind thought you wouldn’t like it! -, she explained.
- Good call! -, Michael spoke from personal experience.
- You guys look great! So life-like! -, she noticed, as she looked at Haldora to show she knew the costumes. Haldora just smiled. – The Viking and his Lady, cool!
- Thanks, it was Hal’s idea! Or should I say Haldora’s? -, he asked and Anna looked at amazed at the fact that he knew her really name.
-Well, the bar is in the back and the rest is up to you, mingle and have fun.
Anna walked away to speak to other friends. Haldora and Michael walked through the party, admiring the many costumes.
- Do Viking warrior’s dance? -, Michael asked.
- They did in my day!
He took off his helmet and led her to the dance floor, where he held her close and swayed smoothly, though it was not that kind of music that played. Haldora snuggled within his embrace to get as close as she could to his body. She could feel his heartbeat on her cheek. It played the melody to which they danced.
Anna watched the couple throughout the night. She was happy to see they poured happiness towards each other. They danced and drank and spoke to no one else but themselves. They were separated from the rest of the world, focused only on each other. Anna couldn’t remember when she had ever since her friend bare such a smile. She could recollect all of Haldora’s life and it had always been one of suffering and hiding, but now she was among people again and looked to be as happy as ever. Michael played an important part in her happiness, because of it, she wouldn’t let go of his hand throughout the entire night.
The time came when tiredness took over Michael and he removed himself and Haldora from the party as discretely as possible, so discretely in fact, Anna did not notice until they were gone a while. The way back home was made in record time. Michael held his lady close as they walked through the now silent streets. He was in a hurry to get home, though his breath and blush denounced his tiredness. Haldora remained tireless as always.
Finally inside Michael threw himself to the bed, feeling the pain of the metal against his flesh. He let go a slight yelp.
- Besides being heavy as hell, this thing hurts. -, he complaint.
- Let me help you out of it.
Michael rose from the bed and allowed Haldora to remove the items of metal, till he only dressed the woolen garments. As soon as he felt free he kissed his lady on the cheek, she looked at him surprised.
- Thanks for a lovely evening. -, they held, - How does a Viking warrior make love? -, he whispered to her hear.
- Quickly! -, she answered, - Scandinavia is a cold place.
As they unlocked from their embrace an aroma flared Haldora’s nostrils, it was a scent she could recognize but was unwilling to acknowledge. Michael seemed unaware of it. Haldora looked at the fire and was forced to admit to herself what she already knew to be true. The fire had turned green. Before Haldora could form another thought, she felt Michael slip from her arms to the bed in a sound sleep. She tried to touch him to awake him, but before she could move, she felt her body fly across the room and hit the wall behind her, loosing consciousness…
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